Rough Love

[Deb]

After 5 years of marriage recently my husband has been gettin very rough with me in the bedroom, and within the last couple of months he is extremely rough and hurts me. for instance the other night we were
just kissing and he started caressing my neck eventually turning into almost choking me several times i couldn't breath properly and i finally stopped it when he poked his thumb so hard into under my chin that it brought me to tears. he also basically ripped my underwear off i don't really have a problem with that but it's just unusual. Other times recently he kind of puts me whenever he wants and he does it roughly almost like positioning me. What is going on? why would a normallly gentle caring lover turn into mean and hurtful? When I complained about the choking he said he didn't mean to and that he didn't realise it was hurting me Ican think of a few reasons for this behavior is he cheating and got new ideas for the bedroom from someone else,
maybe he's angery at me, it seems like there's anger there, or maybe he's secretly bored with me... what do you think?

[Mir]

Lets not confuse love with sex. Love is caring, attention, understanding. Lets not fantasize 'reasons' like an affair either. Learning new techniques is not a 'reason' for thinking he is getting it elsewhere. He does sound angry.

The problem is he is not thinking of pleasuring you and focusing entirely on himself. He needs to reconnect with you and love of you rather than simply 'have sex'. Some frank and loving communication is called for here. And as a woman you are supposed to be streets ahead in the communication ability area if we go by all the modern views (myths?) about gender differences and womens superiority in almost everything. Maybe thats what he is angry about.

[IrishFox]