Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:27 pm Post subject: Am I crazy or something?
Okay, I typically have a dream every other night or so, sometimes more, and it seems that they are are very strange and elaborate. First, I'll start by telling you one of the freakier dreams that I think I've had:
This one was when I was about eleven years old or so...
I'm in a white hallway, hiding underneath a white table. Everything's white... A few yards ahead of me stands a little girl, no more than seven years old. She is dressed in a white easter dress with a matching hat, her hair red and neatly cut at chin- level. She is smiling, and she has a gun pointed straight at me. There's a loud BOOM!, and then... nothing...
Now I'm in a funeral home, sitting at a table eating some grapes with my parents. We have just seen the body, and everyone is mourning. Something feels really odd, though. As though the body in the casket had an even closer relationship to me than just a former friend. Not only that, but I realize that the people I am sitting with are not my parents at all. Startled, I run up to the casket and peer inside once more. What I see scares me.... that's ME in the casket! Freaked out, I run into the bathroom and stare into the mirror in utter disbelief- I'm the little girl!
Okay, now I also have this recurring dream, one that I've been having for years now, and it keeps getting more and more elaborate.
1. It starts out with my dad and me, talking outside. He's chopping some wood for the fireplace, when all of a sudden, he turns around and attacks me. He pushes me over, then takes the axe and chops my right leg off. He's trying to kill me. Luckily (in the dream, atleast), my dad has serious health problems, and so he can't catch up with me. I crawl into the house and get all of my family out, telling them to call 911. My dad is later sent somewhere else, and I'm just missing my right leg.
2. This time, the story's the same, except my dad also manages to hit me in the stomach, leaving a huge scar.
3. The next year, the story's similar, except now he's attacking me while I'm sleeping.
4. Now, he's already cut off my right leg, and he's already stabbed me in the stomach. This time, he cuts out my voice box as well.
5. In the current and final dream, he hurts me in those three places, but my boyfriend wakes up in the middle of it and kills my father.
How old are you? If your second dream mirrors reality, in that you have been in an incestuous relationship with anyone then you had better seek professional counselling.
If not, then the dream may signify erotic desires that you wish to express. It may also represent a union between the masculine and feminine sides of you. It may also symbolize the merging of a child and an adult within you.
As for the dream where you are two different people and one kills the other, it represents you have unused talent, you want to severed your tie with something that is holding you back, you may have some aggression or rage towards others, and you may want to disconnect yourself from your emotions.
If you are having both dreams then together they symbolize a conflict. One side of you wants to avoid relationships and pursue other goals such as going to a university, while the other side of you wants to enjoy life now and get into a relationship.
Lyndis, the second dream has nothing to do with incest. No need to worry yourself about latent sexual desires toward your father. One thing you should do, though, is consider your relationship with him. Do you feel you've let him down in any way? Are there aspects of your life about which you two have strong but conflicting beliefs? Maybe you've done something behind your father's back and he has yet to realize it, but the guilt you feel is there nonetheless.
Any of the above may be putting excessive pressure on your mind and stress in your life. Your father's attempting to hurt (or maybe even kill?) you is symbolic of the backlash you expect to receive for whatever it is you do that you unconsciously feel is wrong. You also said that the dream has changed since you began having it. The types of changes you've mentioned are largely for the worse and most likely reflect your increasing anxiety with whatever is troubling you. The variation of the dream in which your boyfriend comes to your rescue can signify either that he is someone who makes you feel secure despite your continuing anxiety, or that you feel your relationship with him is a compensatory means of making up for the less than perfect one you have with your father.
The first dream signifies a struggle within yourself. It's important that you realize the symbolism of your surroundings. In the first part of the dream, everything around you is white. The hallway, the table, even the girl's clothing. The color white usually symbolizes purity and perfection.
It's also important to note the girl's appearance. Based on your description, she is dressed formally and has taken attention to detail (the matching hat). Her hair is cut neatly and she wears a smile on her face. All of these components join to form an image of innocence, idealness, and -once again- perfection. This innocent little girl is the same girl who ends your life.
What this most likely means is that your own perfectionistic ideals are getting the best of you. You've put such pressure on yourself to behave in a certain way that it's actually driven you to the early stages of neurosis. You may not even be conscious of this as it happens. What's also likely is that part of you feels you will never live up to the expectations you have set for yourself, and thus you are defeated by them.
The fact that you become the girl later in your dream is a further manifestation of your hidden self.
Wow, Cherry... that was really... thought-provoking. I've never actually read that much into my dreams before, but, suprisingly, you hit the nail on the head!
My father and I really do not have a very great relationship. Most of the times that I see him, he is in a drunken stupor, and usually very angry about something. I don't see him that often, because he tends to choose working and spending time with his drinking buddies over staying at home with his family. His health has grown increasingly worse over the years, and it feels more and more like I'm losing him.
As for my boyfriend, he gives me a great sense of security, as I feel that he is always there to protect me. He's always willing to make the extra trip over if I'm upset, just to make things better.
And with the other dream, about the little girl, and the symbolism of purity... I've always troubled myself with "being perfect". I've always had to be "perfect", and felt that always doing right is the only way to make people happy. It's troubled my life for years now, as it's led me to throw away my own plans just to make someone else happy, and it drives my boyfriend crazy. He's always telling me not to live my life through someone else, but just to live. My obsession with being perfect through everyone elses' eyes has caused me a lot of torment, and I'm just now coming to terms with that and trying to deal with it.
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