hopelessly in love

hopeless_lover · Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:12 am Post subject: hopelessly in love

I just got out of a four year relationship ... I don't know how to move on without him. I have experienced alot of the same things you all are feeling it is a very common life process. he is seeing someone right now and we have only been broken up for 2 months.... I have been best friends with him for 14 years...I am 19 now and of course like anyone I just feel lost. I have met some great people who tell me everyday how wonderful I am... something he rarely did... there are lots of things people will tell you that wont help unless you experience them..like time heals all wonds. Unfortunatly it is true. The longer I am without him the better I feel....I gave all mytime and energy to make this one person happy, so when he was gone, I felt like I had no purpose... I believe in the quote...If you love someone...let them go if they come back they were meant to be...if they don't they were never yours to begin with.
But I am curious to know if there is a guy out there that broke up with a girl because he had too much goin on in their life and didn't have time to treat their girlfriend with the love and respect she deserved...or at least that was one of the reasons he gave me. He also said at one point he didn't know if he was ready for a sereous relationship because he hadn't experienced dating around yet...we were eachothers firsts for everything...i mean we started dating when we were 15.

am i being bullshited..is he just not in love with me anymore and doesn't have the balls to admit it?...or is he confused?...help

Voodoo_Child · Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 7:10 pm Post subject:

If you were each other's first for everything and you have known each other for that long then I would have thought he would be honest with you. However, sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. If he thought the truth would have hurt you more then he may have lied to you. Can you think of any other reason he may have dumped you... anything going wrong in your relationship?

hopeless_lover · Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject: Thanks for the advice

Honestly the only thing that was wrong in our relationship was that he was trying to find himself. He was upgrating and deciding what university to go to and shifting between jobs. We had great communication, trust and sexualy we were closer than ever. I think the sereousness of it scared him. Thats all I can think of.

alan1980 · Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:56 pm Post subject:

i can understand how your feeling.he could be doing what i was doing i was pushing the women in my life away i didnt know the reason for it at the time coz she was so good to me and i lost her but after about a month of being single i sought conselling for my problem and now ive completly changed.i admit it was all my fault but now i know it wont happen again.sit down have a good chat with him ask him whats on his mind try and find the problem.i hope you can sort things out take care x

Obvious · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:03 am Post subject:

If I can offer my two penneth ?
I think he has grown apart from you mentally & is basically looking for an easy way to finish the relationship. You are still very young (I bet you hate that!) so you have yet to meet Mr Right, I wouldn't expect anyone to meet the right person for themselves from the word go! Given time you will.
Look at it this way, don't blame yourself for the split, you now have a great chance of meeting someone who wants to devote their time to you & make you happy. So go for it - I know it sounds cheesy, but you do have your whole life ahead of you - so get out there & live it girl !

Voodoo_Child · Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 5:13 pm Post subject:

I don't like that advice. People so closely connected do not drift apart so easily. It takes a really schismatic, catastrophic event to break them up. It seems to me that he is worried about having to break up with you after he goes off to Uni and stuff and would rather do it now and find some unserious relationship so when he moves it doesn't hurt. He would rather feel like he was the one who consciously ended it than know you were split up by circumstance. To this end I believe he is being selfish. If I were you I would go to him and tell him that you can work on staying together and that you think he is running from his feelings. This doesn't sound like the behaviour of someone who has fallen out of love, but someone scared of love's implications and problems.