Long distant relationships

[Geoff]

my g'f has been offered a job in another country. we are in love. she has never been without a b/f and was living with an ex of 3 years before i came along. there were many issues involved, but she has left him and i am confident she loves me and that i want to keep seeing her. everything is just great, we make each other laugh, talk for hours on the phone, and can't keep our hands off each other.

however, reading this forum and reading some of the relationship threads, i am starting to have second thoughts. she is my first really serious girlfreind after a number of casual ones and there appears to be a lot about them i don't understand. am i now the b'f who might end up getting played?

can a long distance relationship work with a gorgeous girl that is selfish and loves attention? i am not so sure now..

[Harry]

Geoff, Hate to say it, but I think this is going to be a hard one to keep together. You might be alot happier if you think of it as a great relationship that has come to an end and maybe when/if she comes back you could pick up again, but unless you are both very serious about each other then temptations are going to come along and one of you is going to get hurt and I think I know who.

[Sal]

What happens when she leaves totally depends on the type of people you are. I'll have to tell my story to explain what I mean.

I met a guy late last year, spent about a month with him and when he left (he lives in Italy) I didn't expect to hear from him again. He started emailing and calling tho and we've kept in touch, calling once or twice a week. He's not my boyfriend and we're not in love but I do want to and will see him again in the summer. He has been with other girls since he left. I asked and he was honest with me. I, on the other hand, haven't been with anyone. I went on 2 dates and I kissed the guys but that's as far as it went. That was shortly after he left when I didn't think I'd hear from him again. Now that we're calling all the time and I know I'm seeing him in the summer I wont be with anyone until I see him again. Altho I know he's been with other girls and he says that he doesn't care if I'm with someone else I still wont do it. Morally, I just wouldn't feel right doing it and I don't believe in tit for tat. That's just the type of person I am and I do this because I choose to do it. If I'm interested in a guy, even if that guy is on the other side of the world, I wont go looking elsewhere. BUT, if I do meet someone and a relationship starts I'll sever all contact and end things with the long distance guy before I dive into something else.

It's really a moral issue. I wouldn't feel right being with someone else and then seeing my long distance guy in the summer, even tho I know he hasn't had the same moral regard.

Just because you and your girl are in different countries it doesn't mean she wont be faithful to you. You'll just have to decide for yourself if you want to give a long distance relationship a go. I think it's worth it to give it a try and as long as you're both honest with each other it should work out ok.

[Sazzymoo]

Hiya!

Im in a long distance relationship!
It's only Bristol-Reading, only an hour & half...but believe me that's hard enough.
It's been 19months...weekends make it worth it though .

I think you come to appreciate each other more.

Sar