Because I have this theory that one woman and several men works better than one man and several women and that's why men have to go under cover if they want more than one woman
Quote:
What does it have to do with this thread ?
Only because you mentioned it in this thread.
Quote:
What exactly do you mean by ''How'' ?
I guess I'm interested in whether they know about each other and accept the situation and how dod it come about, or if they do not then how do you feel about it and do you think it's sustainable.
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 14311 Location: Boston, MA USA
Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 2:59 am Post subject:
Because each of the men is simply happy just getting laid?
i think the ffm is better tolerated by f then mmf is my m. it may also be a distance thing in a long distance romance, were both m also have a f tucked away.
I guess I'm interested in whether they know about each other and accept the situation and how dod it come about, or if they do not then how do you feel about it and do you think it's sustainable.
Of course they know about eachother and both accept the situation,more than i do.It came about that i was in a happy relationship and fell in love with another man.The consequence was polyamory.How i feel about it is nothing i really want to share on an open forum.
Because each of the men is simply happy just getting laid?
No,they aren't that simplistic.Besides,polyamory doesn't necessarily have to mean having a sexual relationship (there are different forms of polyamory).
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 14311 Location: Boston, MA USA
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 5:13 am Post subject:
no i know. i was teasing max. it happens. ive been cought in that sit. before. the woman wants different things from both. i've often though that there are so many woman that would make me happy.
Historically less liberated women appear to tolerate ffm, (eg Mormons) but actually I think today you'll find few women would accept a long term ffm relationship, while a lot more men would accept an mmf.
no i know. i was teasing max. it happens. ive been cought in that sit. before. the woman wants different things from both. i've often though that there are so many woman that would make me happy.
Talking about my situation,i don't want different things from both,that isn't how it works for me.I see both men as seperate,complete entities that aren't in competition with eachother and i take everything,the good and bad,not just parts.I don't look for one thing that i don't get in one relationship in the other relationship.Actually,judging by the many reports i've read on polyamory by polyamorists,i don't think many polyamory relationships are based on that kind of interaction to begin with !
See,i don't want to talk about my relationships,as i'm wary of the possibility of people projecting their (often misinformed) ideas onto my relationships and i'm very protective when it comes to personal things; i cringe when i read how some people talk about their partners sexual problems in all the gorey details,i couldn't do it (i'd rather talk to my partner).
Offtopic.This thread was about hookers,wasn't it ?!
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 14311 Location: Boston, MA USA
Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:33 am Post subject:
maybe there needs to be a poly thread.
Back to hookers then. I hate the fact that they exist, or rather that there is such a need. I wonder how polygamy would affect that aspect of a relationship. Polygamy in a modern country. I wonder if the sex disparity between m/f is real or societal.
P.s. people talk freely about their partner with anonymity. Most things though, I cant imagine not being able to talk to a partner about. All the blowjob questions, just ask the guy…
Back to hookers then. I hate the fact that they exist, or rather that there is such a need. I wonder how polygamy would affect that aspect of a relationship. Polygamy in a modern country. I wonder if the sex disparity between m/f is real or societal.
P.s. people talk freely about their partner with anonymity. Most things though, I cant imagine not being able to talk to a partner about. All the blowjob questions, just ask the guy…
I think the disparity is due to many different factors.There's biology,there's individuality and then there's religion and social construct.I'm not that well informed on sexual history but i get the impression that there has been a lot of suppression of female sexuality going on in the past.I think this has had an influence on how many people view female sexuality,also how many females view their sexuality.I also believe that this must have had an influence on how we raise our children,sending out different messages to males and females.
I believe humans have the habit of believing what others teach them without necessarily questioning,and then living,in thought and everyday life,what has been taught; in this case,a general gender specific identity
(For example: ''Woman have a much lower libido than men,or non at all'' or ''Men have no feelings'').
One general disparity,and where i see a problem,is how differently sex is often viewed.Many men seem to have no problem seeing sex as a casualty,whereas many women seem to have a big problem with it.
This is partly due to our biological heritage but also our sexual-cultural and sexual-social history,we are shaped by the societies and cultures we live in.When i look at history,in terms of sexual content,man (male) almost always has the dominant part,if women are mentioned at all (ex.
Greek history).This must have had an effect on how men and women viewed,and view,sexuality,and that alone gives so many answers.
One thread that gave me many clues as to why some peoples relationships don't work on a sexual basis is that ''marriage contract'' (title escapes me) thread.The stubbornness and unwillingness to understand either partner was overwhelmimg.I think one of the main ingredients for a sexually fulfilling relationship is actually putting the partners wants and needs into consideration and not fully operating from an egotistical point of view.
So much to say on the whole subject of sexual disparages.
This i didn't understand: ''I wonder how polygamy would affect that aspect of a relationship. Polygamy in a modern country''.
Could you explain a bit further ?
Btw,polygamy is something different to polyamory.Polygamists distance themselves from the polyamory.Polygamists are married Christians,where one man has many wives.To polygamists polyamory people live in sin.Polyamory people are people who have more than one ''loves'' and the focus is on the emotional aspects of the relationships.Polyamory is not ''swinging''.
Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 9:58 am Post subject: women wake up
i laughed at some womens response to hookers !!.men only PAY big money to hookers{ as they called in usa} in uk or australia..called escort girls.i can't comment on usa but i know for sure..men in UK and australia go with ''hookers''..escorts here for sexual things their wife or girlfriend says NO to.
oral sex and Anal sex are why married men try hookers.
wifes never have tried Anal sex,imagine a man,loves his wife,adores his kids,works hard,wife thinks sex is on her back etc.
WAKE UP WOMEN
he wants more.
try oral or Anal sex..he may spend more time at home !!!
fact
Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 4:53 pm Post subject: Re: women wake up
ex-nightclub-doorman wrote:
i laughed at some womens response to hookers !!.men only PAY big money to hookers{ as they called in usa} in uk or australia..called escort girls.i can't comment on usa but i know for sure..men in UK and australia go with ''hookers''..escorts here for sexual things their wife or girlfriend says NO to.
oral sex and Anal sex are why married men try hookers.
wifes never have tried Anal sex,imagine a man,loves his wife,adores his kids,works hard,wife thinks sex is on her back etc.
WAKE UP WOMEN
he wants more.
try oral or Anal sex..he may spend more time at home !!!
fact
Well,i don't see many women answering in this thread,so i assume i am one of the ''some'' women whose responses made you laugh ?
You needn't laugh; apart from not having those sexual problems in my relationships,the kind of man i involve myself with,is the type who has strong opinions,regarding men who visit hookers.One goes so far to say he equals it with rape.He feels sorry for the women,feels empathy,and couldn't imagine taking advantage of a woman in such a situation.So far for different male perspectives.
I feel sorry for the women in relationships with men,who see it as their right to see hookers,when they don't get the full sex programme.
I suppose it's their own idiocy,when they choose to live with such a man.
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 14311 Location: Boston, MA USA
Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 6:17 am Post subject:
Lola wrote:
mostirreverent wrote:
maybe there needs to be a poly thread.
Back to hookers then. I hate the fact that they exist, or rather that there is such a need. I wonder how polygamy would affect that aspect of a relationship. Polygamy in a modern country. I wonder if the sex disparity between m/f is real or societal.
P.s. people talk freely about their partner with anonymity. Most things though, I cant imagine not being able to talk to a partner about. All the blowjob questions, just ask the guy…
I think the disparity is due to many different factors.There's biology,there's individuality and then there's religion and social construct.I'm not that well informed on sexual history but i get the impression that there has been a lot of suppression of female sexuality going on in the past.I think this has had an influence on how many people view female sexuality,also how many females view their sexuality.I also believe that this must have had an influence on how we raise our children,sending out different messages to males and females.
I believe humans have the habit of believing what others teach them without necessarily questioning,and then living,in thought and everyday life,what has been taught; in this case,a general gender specific identity
(For example: ''Woman have a much lower libido than men,or non at all'' or ''Men have no feelings'').
One general disparity,and where i see a problem,is how differently sex is often viewed.Many men seem to have no problem seeing sex as a casualty,whereas many women seem to have a big problem with it.
This is partly due to our biological heritage but also our sexual-cultural and sexual-social history,we are shaped by the societies and cultures we live in.When i look at history,in terms of sexual content,man (male) almost always has the dominant part,if women are mentioned at all (ex.
Greek history).This must have had an effect on how men and women viewed,and view,sexuality,and that alone gives so many answers.
One thread that gave me many clues as to why some peoples relationships don't work on a sexual basis is that ''marriage contract'' (title escapes me) thread.The stubbornness and unwillingness to understand either partner was overwhelmimg.I think one of the main ingredients for a sexually fulfilling relationship is actually putting the partners wants and needs into consideration and not fully operating from an egotistical point of view.
So much to say on the whole subject of sexual disparages.
This i didn't understand: ''I wonder how polygamy would affect that aspect of a relationship. Polygamy in a modern country''.
Could you explain a bit further ?
Btw,polygamy is something different to polyamory.Polygamists distance themselves from the polyamory.Polygamists are married Christians,where one man has many wives.To polygamists polyamory people live in sin.Polyamory people are people who have more than one ''loves'' and the focus is on the emotional aspects of the relationships.Polyamory is not ''swinging''.
i thank you for the thoughtful response BTW.
As usually, I was speaking from the sexual standpoint, one that in most relationships I have had that I wanted more. I was wondering if having more women in a given relationship would give me more opportunities for sex. As fore a modern country, I meant a western one (my bias), where the woman had equal rights in the polygamous relationship. So I guess it would be polyamory. BTW, sin for me does not exist.
If a man has sex with a hooker only once and in his teenage years, is he forever relegated to being one of "those men"?
Does that one teenage experience with a hooker linger 30 years later when that man is 50, even if he has not been with another hooker since?
I agree that there is a "type" of man who frequents hookers. I can't describe the type, but I do believe it exists. I don't believe every man who ever had a single experience with a hooker fits the type.
I also do not believe prostitution is the exclusive province of "average" or "below average" men. Surely John Profumo and his cohorts were anything but "average"; rather, these men were, by all accounts, exceptional under every prevailing measure of success. The hookers these men frequented were accordingly exceptional, as hookers go.
If a man has sex with a hooker only once and in his teenage years, is he forever relegated to being one of "those men"?
My personal preference is to not want to be with a man who has no problems with seeing a hooker.If a woman has no problems with a man who has no problems seeing a hooker,more power to her.
I don't have to have something i don't want or is it a necessity to have something i don't want ?
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Does that one teenage experience with a hooker linger 30 years later when that man is 50, even if he has not been with another hooker since?
Of course,some people change over time,but generally,i wouldn't want to be with a person who finds it okay to see a hooker.The psychology behind a man being able to see a hooker is something i wouldn't want to have to deal with in my personal life,so consequently,i look for men who have similar views and ideals (and yes,that limits my choice in men by a large %,but i can gladly live with that).
Quote:
I agree that there is a "type" of man who frequents hookers. I can't describe the type, but I do believe it exists. I don't believe every man who ever had a single experience with a hooker fits the type.
What most have in common,is that they don't have a problem with seeing a hooker.That is the type of man i wouldn't want to have a relationship with.Does having a common interest equal being a type ? Possibly.
Quote:
I also do not believe prostitution is the exclusive province of "average" or "below average" men. Surely John Profumo and his cohorts were anything but "average"; rather, these men were, by all accounts, exceptional under every prevailing measure of success.The hookers these men frequented were accordingly exceptional, as hookers go.
Depending on how you define exceptional ...
and how you define average,which i already did in another post.
I don't see the problem with me not wanting a relationship with such a man.I'm not telling others how to live their life but i can sure choose how i want to live my life.
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