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ellie beaver
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:28 pm Post subject: Don't know what to do |
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I've got a male friend that I'm close to. We see each other both in social groups situations and on our own. I've always felt some sexual tension between us, we flirt on text and MSN and once had a snog (sober).
I've always liked him as more as a friend. My parents don't understand why we don't go out as we do lots of date stuff together - cinema, eating out, shopping etc.
I've always taken it that as he's never asked me out formally, he's not interested. However despite being a quite loud, he's actually a bit tentative - leaves it up to me to decide what to do when we're out etc.
Should I be a bit touchy feely the next time I'm out with him and see how he reacts? I don't want to scare him off. But I'm haunted by experiences when I was younger when I fancied someone, said nothing, and saw them go out with someone else, which really hurt. |
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Verve
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 5491
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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| No you shouldn't get touchy feely. What you should do is come straight out and ask him how he feels about you. Even ask an indirect question to see where his mind is at. If you really like him it's worth putting your heart out there. It's up to you though. Live your life with no regrets. |
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Meremale
FemaleFirst Newbie (20+ posts)
Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Posts: 36
Location: Surrey in Greater London, UK
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:38 am Post subject: Don't know what to do |
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I think Verve has got it exactly right for this rather unclear situation.
Maybe he is loath to start something because there are complications he does not wish to burden you with, not yet anyway.
Has he shown any kind of affection or sexual feelings for you, even some obscure or guarded ones ? Most guys would try to give you some clue, maybe ? ! But there are exceptions to that sometimes.
Good luck anyway. |
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Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1597
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:57 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm… Maybe a male perspective. I've never understood why women are loathe to make the first move. I mean, I understand insecurity cos I was (am) the most insecure male around. But as a gender/role persona?? No, I don’t think so. Those of you who have the guts to get it going, don’t let your gender get in the way. Pfffft. Go for it. If it isn’t there with him, that’s not your fault. It's all about being in charge of your world. I wish I had your guts, guys.  |
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Fred75
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 7979
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| Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:58 am Post subject: |
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| Cambridge wrote: |
| It's all about being in charge of your world. |
That's WHY the man must make the first move.
Unless of course you want an emasculated man that can't take charge of caring for a wife and FAMILY!
IE... you marry a man that can't step up to the plate and take care of things.... don't expect much different after you marry him! |
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Verve
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 5491
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:45 am Post subject: |
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| So Steve, what your saying basically is that men get absolutely no gratification out of watching women beg? |
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Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1597
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:07 am Post subject: |
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Well, Fred, you’re a little to heavy for my salad. I like love that is light. I don’t like love that is a thick hamburger, with fries and a shake. So….you find your women…wherever. Go for it, big boy!!
Verve, no one wants to see someone get to the level of begging. That is not the point. Love is like leaning your head back on a pillow and finding someone else’s head on the next pillow. It’s like laughing (at each other and with each other) because you are there. Don’t ask questions, just feel…. You’ll know when it’s right. Good luck. |
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Verve
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 5491
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:14 am Post subject: |
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That comment was for Steve to rattle his brain a bit.
Speak for yourself about wanting someone to beg.... I for one, enjoy it! |
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Fred75
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 7979
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:39 am Post subject: |
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| Verve wrote: |
That comment was for Steve to rattle his brain a bit.
Speak for yourself about wanting someone to beg.... I for one, enjoy it! |
Well then... come back and tell us after 15 years of having to hold a mans hand if your tired of it and wish you married a man with a spine. |
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Verve
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 5491
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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Steve I get what your saying but still yet um.... a woman begging for anything is a turn off completely. And if a man makes a woman beg he has no spine.
mmmmmm...... So men who have women begging to suck them off get no graitfication from this because if they did, they have no spine. Would that be a fair statement.
Last edited by Verve on Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:35 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fred75
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 7979
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Verve wrote: |
Steve I get what yor saying but still yet um.... a woman begging for anything is a turn off completely. And if a man makes a woman beg he has no spine.
mmmmmm...... So men who have women begging to suck them off get no graitfication from this because if they did, they have no spine. Would that be a fair statement. |
The woman MAKES the man work for her favor.
She doesn't sleep with him or give him oral.
He is to get none for years in order to prove his love and commitment. |
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Verve
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 5491
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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| How long did your wife make you wait? |
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splinkygb
FemaleFirst Chatter (200+ Posts)
Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 422
Location: Lancashire.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:02 am Post subject: |
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Ellie, just go for it and ask him!
But keep your beaver to yourself for now!  |
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MaxtheGaul
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 29 Jan 2005
Posts: 3531
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:21 am Post subject: |
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| Verve wrote: |
That comment was for Steve to rattle his brain a bit.
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You can't rattle his brain, he's a computer! |
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MaxtheGaul
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 29 Jan 2005
Posts: 3531
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:23 am Post subject: Re: Don't know what to do |
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| ellie beaver wrote: |
I've got a male friend that I'm close to. We see each other both in social groups situations and on our own. I've always felt some sexual tension between us, we flirt on text and MSN and once had a snog (sober).
I've always liked him as more as a friend. My parents don't understand why we don't go out as we do lots of date stuff together - cinema, eating out, shopping etc.
I've always taken it that as he's never asked me out formally, he's not interested. However despite being a quite loud, he's actually a bit tentative - leaves it up to me to decide what to do when we're out etc.
Should I be a bit touchy feely the next time I'm out with him and see how he reacts? I don't want to scare him off. But I'm haunted by experiences when I was younger when I fancied someone, said nothing, and saw them go out with someone else, which really hurt. |
Depends on what you want. If you want some action then make a move, even if it's only to ask him when he's going to take you out for dinner. |
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