Is this selfish and wrong?

e-liz · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: Is this selfish and wrong?

Hiya,

Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 1year and a month now, and i love him dearly and love what we have.....sometimes i just wish that he was more loving and affectionate.

This sounds strange (and true, doesnt every girl wish life was like the movies?) im not askin for the movies though, cos i know i cant have it, i just wish hed love me more affectionately sometimes....surprise me with gestures...and make me feel a bit special about myself.....we've both been busy with exams and revision, but it will go back to normal after there finished.

I need to know.....is this selfish and wrong to want?...If not, how can i try and gain it?

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 7289

no. It isn't selfish. That is what everyone wants out of a relationship.

e-liz · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject:

If its not wrong...what can i do?

I just need more love from him in this relationship, to know im loved and thought of.

I show him i care, that i love him....i treat him with lil gifts and take him out and yet...he doesnt do the same for me Sad

brunettebimbo · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject:

I think that is just the way relationships are.....Mine is the same, I know he loves me and I love him. We always have cuddles in bed and he always tells me he loves me.

They don't need to give you gifts to prove they love you. Just think when he does treat you it will be that bit more special Very Happy

e-liz · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:01 pm Post subject:

yh, i see your point...i think men are afriad to show to much affection sometimes.

I do love him, and our relationship, just wish it was a bit more loving at times, but thanks, its reassured me that mines not the only relationship like this.

thnks xxx

YummyMummyOf2 · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject:

Hi - Im married and have this problem!!! He doesnt even want to buy me a present for our anniversary this month :O He doesnt believe in as he says "wasting money"... i hate it, i love getting and giving lil gifts/cards anything... I think its just a man thing, they cant be emotional when we are, only when they want to be, and its on there terms! I think its something us women have to get used to...

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 7289

Cambridge · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:03 am Post subject: Re: Is this selfish and wrong?

brunettebimbo · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:33 am Post subject:

YummyMummyOf2 · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:34 am Post subject:

AussieAdam · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject:

Agree with you Fordy Coolman IS the idiot and why he feels the need to tell us he is cheating on his wife god knows...Perhaps he wants us all to think he's a bit of a stud.....? I wonder has he ever thought....Perhaps his wife is not as happy as he thinks she is...Perhaps she is getting it elsewhere too.

My partner is not the most demonstrative of women when it comes to affection...Its generally me that makes the first move as regards a kiss or a cuddle. At first it bothered me and sometimes I would say '' Why is it always me that makes the first move?'' But then I would be at work and i would get an ''I love you'' text or I come home and find that she has bought me a DVD I have been talking about or a CD.

I think for you the most important thing is to KNOW your partner loves you and accepting that you both show it in different ways.

E-Liz perhaps in your case what you want and what he wants to give though are different. You cant try to gain anything from anyone, sure you can hint but to some guys being slushy is a sign of weakness...Perhaps he comes from a family where dad didnt show mum such affection. maybe he DID show that kind of attention to a girl in the past who didnt respond how he'd like.

If he shows affection and love in other ways then perhaps its just something you will have to live with or move on. I think revision and exams is a very stressful time and maybe your right, when its all over he may well become more demonstrative...........But then over the next couple of years your both gonna evolve a lot....Only time will tell if that means you will grow apart.

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 7289

coolman was a bit tipsy when he wrote that. Sorry.

brunettebimbo · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:03 am Post subject:

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 7289

when you're right, you're right.

brunettebimbo · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:17 am Post subject: