you are both ashamed of what you said. I'll bet you one thousand quid, that if you just said, "I'm sorry I said those things". He would say the same and you would both cry and kiss, happy that the whole thing is resoved.
Why should you say, "I'm sorry I said those things".? Because somebody has to. Why not you?
I dont know what I want to happen. When a marriage splits so badly, you can't just go back to how it was before. But how do you change in yourself (and themselves) to make sure you get it right? All I know is the love doesn't go away.
Jazz, I'm known on this thread not for what wants to be heard, but for what needs to be heard. Never look back! You’ve left him how many times? You’ve said how many hurtful things back and forth?…which have to be true, cause how else would you both know these things? Your family doesn’t want you two to get back, and they have to know something about what’s going on. These factors, coupled with your own impulse to leave, count for something…maybe all.
Never look back or you’ll go through just what you are going through right now. It’s so unnecessary. I know it’s traumatic, but it’s like an operation…you’ve got to go through some pain in order to get better. You can’t ask the doctor to undo the stitches…it won’t make the pain go away. Grin and bear the pain…but never look back. Get on with life and thank God you have no children together.
I often, more often than most, believe that people should work at their relationship. but somehow this one feels like it will just run from one crisis to the next. There are better things to do with one's life.
I kind of understand how you are feeling. Although me and my partner aren't married we live together.
We had lived together for 6 months and I got fired from my job, this made things extremely hard financially and in the end my partner left. Things where said, I was the worst, I was physically violent to him.
I can't remember exactly how long it was but we did end up getting back together, he didnt move back in, we took things slowly. WE had both been with other people in the space we had been apart so there was alot of jelousy and we ended up splitting again. We had a yo-yo pattern going on.
His family hated me and my family hated him. THey didn't want us to be together. Netherless we got back together and things worked well for a long time until there was talk of him not wanting kids, I left him. His parents and mine wherhis time and really upset this time and said we where made for each other.
We got back together again and realised we both did want kids, he just wasn't ready yet. We have been together since and we are fantastic together, you just know when something is going to work and this time we will, we have got past all the little sh!tty things that don't matter and realised we are good together, yes we do have silly little arguments but doesn't everyone? Personally I think it makes a relationship healthy.
Just think before you act on this one. Do you want to lose your husband for good?
What exactly where you arguing about?
If you don't want to lose him apologise, even if its him in the wrong. 2 words to save something you feel strongly about is definately worth it!
Finally someone knows how this is. Yes we have broken up before and were in pretty much the same situation as you with regards to families and friends not liking either him or me. But we got through it and tried again.
The argument was stupid (Dont really want to go into it as it is personal), but in his favour I had been very down for quite a while and this made it all worse.
To my knowledge he hasn't been with anyone else (I wouldnt really know) but I havent.
I have said sorry, but now he has decided this is never going to work and thats it.
I am not stupid and I know I am alot to blame for the problems we had, all couples have problems right? but ours just seem to keep coming.
They do keep coming, thats life. Trust me I feel like something is always going wrong!
Its one thing after the other, First I lost my job, Car blew up, Left my next job, struggled to pay bills, I want kids now he doesn't, we've had to cancel holiday etc
The thing is this time I haven't let it break us up, in ways it has made us stronger and I'm kind of thankful for that. We are trying to get some stability like buy a house etc but nothing seems to be going our way. I'm not going to give up, we have got this far and knowing that our relationship is stronger than its ever been helps.
You need to talk to him, see how he really feels, there where times when my boyfriend said we won't get back together but we always did.
What makes you so down if you don't mind me asking?
To be completely honest, i dont know why I was so low. I worked hard and I know I didnt leave enough time for us, but I just wanted to work hard for a better future. But having 2 jobs, 2 kids and a house to run really takes it's toll. Money is always tight and bills just keep coming - as do the arguments.
I guess that in a wierd way we both gave up, but this was at a time when things were really bad. I have told him I am sorry and also that I love him, but he says it is not enough. It's been a month now and I am completely crushed.
To be completely honest, i dont know why I was so low. I worked hard and I know I didnt leave enough time for us, but I just wanted to work hard for a better future. But having 2 jobs, 2 kids and a house to run really takes it's toll. Money is always tight and bills just keep coming - as do the arguments.
I guess that in a wierd way we both gave up, but this was at a time when things were really bad. I have told him I am sorry and also that I love him, but he says it is not enough. It's been a month now and I am completely crushed.
I'm feeling low at the moment but I think it is probably the fact I haven't worked for a while. I'm going back to work on MOnday so that shud help!
Bills always keep coming, Me and my partner have so many debts its unreal and I'm only 20! I'm £300 overdrawn (I don't have an overdraft), I owe £900 on my credit card, £500 to electric my partner owes £7400 for a car he got when he was 21 and doesnt have anymore....the list is endless and it drives me mad!
You have to make time for each other, i did get a job that was really good pay but I left because it made me unhappy, money isn't everything so don't let it be.
I can't even suggest what your to do, have you met up and spoke face to face?
Huni... I am sorry you are feeling down too ,.. it sucks!
No we haven't spoken face to face - all by email and text. The problem with that is you dont know how the other person is really feeling as you cant see them. He text me today asking about divorce and I replied in floods of tears and shaking. He cant see that.
So now, after saying sorry, that I love him and all except beg him to come back, I am left with a pending divorce and wondering how the hell I got here in this mess? I know I am a b!tch at times, but I am not completely to blame. Do I have to beg????
you are both ashamed of what you said. I'll bet you one thousand quid, that if you just said, "I'm sorry I said those things". He would say the same and you would both cry and kiss, happy that the whole thing is resoved.
Why should you say, "I'm sorry I said those things".? Because somebody has to. Why not you?
Coolman.... erm I think you owe me a grand! I said sorry and now I am getting divorced.
Huni... I am sorry you are feeling down too ,.. it sucks!
No we haven't spoken face to face - all by email and text. The problem with that is you dont know how the other person is really feeling as you cant see them. He text me today asking about divorce and I replied in floods of tears and shaking. He cant see that.
So now, after saying sorry, that I love him and all except beg him to come back, I am left with a pending divorce and wondering how the hell I got here in this mess? I know I am a b!tch at times, but I am not completely to blame. Do I have to beg????
Jazz, I'm sorry you’re down. I'm sorry you’re hurting. I'm also sorry it’s not working. But at some point you’re going to have to stop sacrificing for a lost relationship, and start looking after yourself.
It hurts, I know. But you’re on the moment right now, and that is sooo confusing and painful. But he seems unmoved and he seems to have made up his mind. So, watta ya to do?
You start by defining yourself. Stand up and say whom you are. You go back into a solo being and say, ‘Hey, know what? I like myself and even if this didn’t work out, I'm still ok.’ If, perchance, it is ever to work out, at least you come back with pride and a sense of self-worth. Stand up and define yourself…it’s rehabilitative and you end up liking yourself, which is no small stuff.
Coolman.... erm I think you owe me a grand! I said sorry and now I am getting divorced.
I am very sorry to hear that, though. It is one thing when bf and gf split up, but entirely different when a marriage breaks up. That is why I was hoping things would work out. . .
Huni... I am sorry you are feeling down too ,.. it sucks!
No we haven't spoken face to face - all by email and text. The problem with that is you dont know how the other person is really feeling as you cant see them. He text me today asking about divorce and I replied in floods of tears and shaking. He cant see that.
So now, after saying sorry, that I love him and all except beg him to come back, I am left with a pending divorce and wondering how the hell I got here in this mess? I know I am a b!tch at times, but I am not completely to blame. Do I have to beg????
Definately don't beg!
If it has gone this far then he probably has made up his mind. Meet him, talk face to face. He might not know how much he is missing you until he see's you. Even if it does turn to divorce you can't discuss things via txt. Meet him and be civil.
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