Involving late fathers

daddy's girl · Guest

I'm getting married in a year, (I'm so happy! I can't wait)

The only thing that mars the good feelin we both have for the wedding is that both of us have lost our fathers.

We've got ideas for including them in the reception(there's going to be a place for bothe of them at the top table, with a candle) But niether of us can think of a way to include them in the ceremony. We were both close to our dads, and would love to have them included in the ceremony, but obviously, without upsetting us and our remaining parents.

Any Ideas, anyone?

iambea · Guest

I'm getting married this January, also without my father to walk me down the isle. As part of our ceremony we intend on presenting each of our parents (my mom, his mom and dad) with some token of thanks, like a flower, and we intend on offering a second flower to my mom and saying something like "we hope you will also accept this token of gratitude on behalf of your late husband who can be with us only in spirit". You could ask anyone else, like an uncle or brother or sister to accept a token of gratitude on behalf of your father as well.

Princess-Bride · Guest

I love the idea of setting a place for them on the top table with a candle, though it might be best to put them at the end of the table, so you don't upset your living relatives by placing a dead person closer to you than them.

One American wedding I saw (only on tv) had all the guests bring a white flower of their choice to the ceremony. They all placed them on a table, which acted as a shrine to the Bride's dead father.

Loads of brides choose to visit the grave of their deceased father, too - But as you'd need to visit two graves, this could prove somewhat time consuming.

You could also simply place pictures of your fathers somewhere during the ceremony, and include their names in the programmes and invites. (though this may cause some conflict, depending who's paying)

In the end, it doesn't matter what you do. If you belive your fathers will come to the wedding, they'll be there acting just the proud Daddy they always were in life.