Should I marry him?

[M989:)]

Tricky situation. I would say marry him if it isnt possible to postpone. If you are 42 years old, and have grown-up kids you can't just live for yourself anymore, and also, don't you think maybe he has got cold feet? Id def say, give it a thought before you leave him. You can always have a bit of an agreement for the sake of the children. Everybody does. You can live together but maybe have seperate lives? at least give it a try . from what i hear, it will be way too hard taking care of twins on your own, with a low salary.

also, life isnt always passionately dramatic and pink clouds, it can be, but if that doesn't happen you can't always say: " oh he is a looser leave him straight away you're worth so much more than that " etc etc. it's not always that easy.

[Guest]

you have nothing to lose if you get married to him. financially he will be F***k.ed if you divorced later down the line. Cynical I know but if he wants to marry you to give your kids security, he knows the score. He's the one with the money.

[bride to be?]

Hi, sorry i didn't return earlier to tell you what happened but have been so busy.

Yes, I did marry him and for now at least I think I have made the right decision. It's not the perfect marriage. We've had sex once since we married but thats not really surprising since I'm sure most people are less active when 7months pregnant. We''re decorating the twins room (I've found out I'm exspecting a boy and a girl) and he seems to vaguley interested in that. My oldest son is at uni next moths and my eldest daughter is planning to have his room so all kids will have their own rooms.

Alan's not been around much becuase of work, He doesn't normally come home before half nine but we're muddling along ok.

There was a bit of a dodgy moment at the wedding but thats all in the past now and I think we will last.

Thanks for all your adivse, i hope you think i did the right thing. I'll post again when the twins are born or to answer any questions.

[animallover15]

What was the dodgy moment at the wedding?

[bride to be?]

oh he had cold feet, tried to cancel night before, but we talked it through and I made it clear I wan't raising his kids in some crummy flat alone for him to come and be a weekend dad with flash presents. He wants to be a part of their lives, so here we are.

[Guest]

AND YOU STILL MARRIED HIM?

[animallover15]

I think you were both out of your minds for getting married!!!

[wedder]

Why? are they crazy?

[Guest]

because he doesn't lover her!!!

[Guest]

I think you made the right decision by trying your best for the sake of your children. This man fathered your children so is morally bound to take care of you and the twins. It's unfortuante you got pregnant to a man that doessn't love you but you have to make the best of a bad situation. You have to focus on your twins now so love will have to take a back burner.

The real clincher thougj is how is when the twins are born.

Good luck with this marriage and give it your best. If it doesn't work then at least you know you tried.

[bride to be?]

I think my husband may be having an affair. He's been working late, seems distracted, we havn't had sex since the wedding night and keeps recieving text messages. What should I do? Confront him? Please help.

[animallover15]

You have to be kidding??

You pushed him into marrying you when you know he didn't want to and now you are shocked that he may be playing around on you?

What a pair you are!!!

[bride to be?]

[animallover15]

Pointing out the truth is not horrid.....I can't even believe you are acting so shocked??

Blind freddy can see that this relationship wasn't on the most stable grounds to start with!!!

[bellydanca]