big fight 6 months before the wedding

deson · Guest

my fiancee just told me that she wants to keep her last name instead of taking my last name. she feels that is is her choice to take my last name or not. im very hurt about this because feel disrespected and not the unity that marriage is about. she considered hyphenating the names but i feel its just wrond . I am i crazy for feeling this way?

Fatlisa · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 11 Nov 2003 Posts: 1367

I don't see anything wrong with it, its all about keeping your own identity within a partnership. After all a partnership should be 50 50.

Swallow your pride after all it is a partnership not a take-over

animallover15 · Super Woman Joined: 12 Jan 2006 Posts: 17916

This is not really worth the fight!!!

Would you jeapordise the relationship over something like this??

Confused Chick · Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:32 am Post subject:

Waaaay back when;

Brides-to-be lived with their parents and were 'given' away by the father into another family, taking on that family's name, much like an ownership deal over 'goods and services'.

Now things are different and women are independant.

Without going all Germaine Greer on you, I think it's more apt to keep your own names and less fuss than changing all of those details!

Don't take it as an insult.

(+1) It's not worth fighting about.

cy_penguin · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1

Well what to say about this? I had no problem taking my husbands last name, but alot of women chose to keep their maiden names for whatever reason they may have...personal, husbands name is weird, their status in the community (like movie stars, etc.).

Some women feel that they lose their identity if they change their last name. I am surprised she didn’t point this out before now that she wanted to keep her last name. I would have wanted to make that clear right up front.

On the other hand why can’t she use her married name for legal reasons and use her maiden name for work, her status in the community or whatever she wants it for?

Some people remove their middle name and put their maiden name as their second name and their married name for the last name???

All in all I hope if you to were made to be together that you two can work something like this out… if not then your marriage is in BIG TROUBLE on other issues down the road!!!

candy_floss · Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:39 am Post subject:

youre making a mountain out of a molehil

TheJudge · Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:09 am Post subject: