Am I selfish

classiclady · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 12

I have just had a major row with my other half about me not making him a drink when I had made myself one, I had already made him two today , one when I got up (i also brought his pills up to him) and one when I got back from my horse.
This happenes everyday (we are on holiday this week) I work full time and I do most of the house work in fact I cannot remmember the last time he did anything. He too works fulltime we have no kids but I am getting a bit fed up as today all he has done is sat at the computer while I have done the house work been up to my horse twice packed some of the house up (we are moving house) which so far he hasn`t helped with apart for get some boxies down from the loft .

He called me selfish for not making him a coffee and has now stormed out the house.

What do you think?

fan · Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:04 pm Post subject:

hell no your not selfish.........a relationship is give and take and seems to me hes doing all the taking

your not his mother your his partner and your not there to run round after him

let him sulk at least you get a quiet few hours

OverTheRainbow · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 4

You are definitely not selfish, he is just being childish and I'm willing to bet this isn't the first time he's displayed such infantile behaviour.

I suggest that you both cool down and have a serious talk, as fan said, relationships are give and take, not mother and son.

Pia · Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:53 pm Post subject:

Just explain to him that you're not a super woman. A little bit of help from him would be appreciate. Try to communicate calmly and hopefully it will get through to him.

averageguy · Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 4:47 am Post subject:

I concur. And that's coming from someone who's a husband.

classiclady · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 12

Thanks guys, no its not the first time this has happened . I love him but somtimes I don`t know where he is coming from. Last year I was told I had depression , we had only ben together for three months but he stuck by me and was my rock when I had bad days, it just seems now I am getting better he has changed .

fan · Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:41 am Post subject:

hi you mentioned you had depression and since you have been recovering he has got worse..........this could be because as you recover the old you comes back your no longer fully dependant on him i think if you look back on being ill you probably did act as his nursemaid in return for him supporting you...............i use a forum which could help you to be yourself more its........www.nomorepanic.co.uk its all self help and does deal with issues of all sorts

anyway hope hes stopped his sulking but dont back down to him let him know its 50/50

classiclady · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 12

he has stopped sulking back to normal for now

P_1984d · Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:56 pm Post subject:

Why dont you act exactly like he is? Maybe he'll realise?