How porn affects women

[Curvey_Brunette]

No, using the Catholic church as an extreme example. The church by removing masterbation as an outlet as well as making condoms unavailiable as well as making nakedness something forbidden, virtually ensures that multiple pregnancies occur as soon as the faithful get a chance. The old saw about Catholic girls has some basis in fact.

The Catholic church sees sex as a sin, as well as lust and desire.

It's attitude towards sex is that it's not supposed to be pleasurable or enjoyable, but is there purely for procreation purposes only.

[Guest]

The Catholic church sees sex as a sin, as well as lust and desire.

It's attitude towards sex is that it's not supposed to be pleasurable or enjoyable, but is there purely for procreation purposes only.

I was also raised as a Catholic. No priest I've ever met has claimed sex is shameful in a lawful union consecrated by the church. In fact Church doctrine since the middle ages has mostly been that your wife should be anxious for your return to the bedroom. In other words, she should take pleasure in making love.

Some splinter groups have felt differently, but the puritans for instance, haven't been around for a very long time and they are only a minor distraction to mainstream churches.

To quote Augustine "Lord, give me chastity and continence, but not yet!"

[Curvey_Brunette]

I was also raised as a Catholic. No priest I've ever met has claimed sex is shameful in a lawful union consecrated by the church. In fact Church doctrine since the middle ages has mostly been that your wife should be anxious for your return to the bedroom. In other words, she should take pleasure in making love.

Some splinter groups have felt differently, but the puritans for instance, haven't been around for a very long time and they are only a minor distraction to mainstream churches.

To quote Augustine "Lord, give me chastity and continence, but not yet!"

That's fair comment, but there was an a lot of underlying angst when the father came to our school to preach.

Yes sex inside of marriage was completely acceptable and the idea that both bride and groom were virgins on their married night was heavily pushed.

Any sexual thoughts were 'impure thoughts' and had to be told during confession and as a rule I usually got 5 hail Mary's and 5 our fathers for my penance for thinking things that are perfectly normal for a growing preteen.

I did form the impression that sex was something you never talked about, was only for having babies and was something very seedy, dirty even.

[Guest]

Fair enough. I felt and experianced much the same, but you were a child weren't you? Making those first fumbles with sex shameful keeps children out of trouble.

I on the other hand think children should get all the sex education they can understand, as well as birth control as soon as needed. I'm not trying to create a church, I prefer responsible thinking adults in a modern society that requires responsible thinking adults.

[Guest]

In one study over 50% of "promise keepers" have looked at porn in the last week... is this bad? These are some of the most moral and ethical people in the USA.

maybe they're not? i'm not saying that looking at porn makes them unethical, but maybe some of them weren't that moral to start with?

Promise keepers have been trained in moral thought as well as taking an oath that they will follow moral thinking in everything they do.

It's based on Kohlberg's 5th and 6th stages of moral development and while you can't "force" someone into a level they are unable to conceptually grasp, nevertheless it is a noble attempt to use a contract to increase ethical thinking.

Are they moral? No more than anyone else, prehaps, but they are making an honest attempt.

[Curvey_Brunette]

Fair enough. I felt and experianced much the same, but you were a child weren't you? Making those first fumbles with sex shameful keeps children out of trouble.

Does it keep them out of trouble though? It would certainly appear that girls as young as 12 are getting themselves pregnant and I suspect this is because sex education is lacking, they don't really have a clue what they are doing, they do it because they've seen it on the TV or in a film.

It all made me more curious as to why what I was doing was wrong. Looking back all I was doing was exploring my own body and my own sexuality, it's not like I was with the boys behind the bike shed or anything.

I personally think this is probably why so many catholics are paedophiles because there is so much pressure on children to suppress their natural urges and desires.

Of course I was too young to realise what I was doing or why I was doing it, and, because of the way I'd been raised I did feel a lot of guilt for what should have been the most natural thing in the world to me and all my school mates, (though not together)

When my children get older I admit I will feel very uncomfortable discussing such things with them and I'll probably pass the buck to my husband. But at the same time I've got to try and overcome those feelings and discuss sex with them in a sensible way they can understand without going into too much fine detail.

Children should never feel guilty about playing with themselves because it is natural, it's something we all have to learn and unless we understand our own bodies, what feels good and what doesn't, then how can we related to others on a sexual level when we get older?

I on the other hand think children should get all the sex education they can understand, as well as birth control as soon as needed. I'm not trying to create a church, I prefer responsible thinking adults in a modern society that requires responsible thinking adults.

I think I'd have to agree with you on this.

If kids don't know how it all works and what they're doing, how can they know of the risks they're running?

But getting the balance right is more difficult than trying to balance on a high-wire in ice skates.

[Guest]

I personally think this is probably why so many catholics are paedophiles because there is so much pressure on children to suppress their natural urges and desires.

Umm. Prove it. I don't feel much gratatude towards the Catholic church, but I wouldn't smear them unjustly either.

Quite a few Catholic priests have recieved high levels of publicity, rightly so, for paedophilia however first off these are people whose sexuality is such that they would willingly become celibate and therefore extremely abnormal. Secondly, a quick review of the sex offenders list in your community will show that there are millions of sex offenders that are not only not Catholic Priests, but not even Catholic.

[Curvey_Brunette]

Umm. Prove it. I don't feel much gratatude towards the Catholic church, but I wouldn't smear them unjustly either.

Investigations have shown the catholic church has an internal policy for dealing with priests who are knowing to have committed child sex offences and as you say, a good few catholic priests have had high profile child sex offence cases.

I don't think I've ever read of a another case involving such offences, though I seem to remember something about a Moron who was fiddling about with kids.

But then look at the other faiths, there are no altar boys or like things in the other faiths.

However, catholic priests do tend to have free and easy access to children, be this through altar boys, choir boys and confessional.

I remember when I was catholic, (I've since woke up and I see all religion for the man made form of social control it is), they had changed the rules and you had the option of confessing behind a screen or confessing directly in front of the father.

I don't know if that is still an option, if it is, do you really think it's appropriate for an adult to be alone in a room and behind closed doors with an unrelated child?

I don't and I think that's exactly the reason why so many catholic priests/fathers are found to be paedophiles.

[Guest]

What attracts pedophiles... children.
What better way for a pedophile to gain access to child than through religion or schools?

Have we also not seen a lot of teachers caught with their pants down?

Basically men can be uscrupulous at getting what they want!

If you blame the church for anything, blame them for not having swift a fast punishment!
Their past hush hush history is what breed more impropriety

[bart simpson]

[ (I've since woke up and I see all religion for the man made form of social control it is),.

What rules do you dislike?

[elliott20]

Fair enough. I felt and experianced much the same, but you were a child weren't you? Making those first fumbles with sex shameful keeps children out of trouble.

That only works if the message is consistant from most input sources in their life.

[Curvey_Brunette]

[ (I've since woke up and I see all religion for the man made form of social control it is),.

What rules do you dislike?

All of them, especially the sexual no-no's.

I believe that people should be able to do whatever they want to do without any feelings of angst or guilt because they've had a good time.

So long as it hurts nobody, everyone has a good time and there's no negative impact, why should people feel guilty?

Religion is by default designed to entice 'good behaviour' by the fact it has good and evil.

It's not evil to smear yourself in peanut butter and run around the house naked and masturbating if that's what you enjoy doing.

It's not the devils work to masturbate
It's not evil to have multiple sexual partners, after all, who buys a car without a test drive first?

[Curvey_Brunette]

What attracts pedophiles... children.

The power and an inability to cope with relationships on an adult level.

What better way for a pedophile to gain access to child than through religion or schools?

Well the catholic faith gives male adults better access to children because of altar boys, choir boys and confession. It presents a better opportunity for the offender to have private access to children. And of course the guilt factors of that faith.

EG: Sex is there for procreation, not enjoyment, allow the offender to 'guilt trip' the child into not telling anyone.

Have we also not seen a lot of teachers caught with their pants down?

Recently a teacher was taken to court for sexual activity with a child who held a screwdriver to her head and forced her to give him a blow job.

On the face of it, it seems the jury had a good degree of common sense. And yes I agree that teaching gives adults better access to children, but doesn't give them the privacy needed to abuse children like the catholic faith does.

Over the past week there's been at least 2 teachers who have been convicted of making indecent images of children with hidden cameras. OK so that's no less of a crime to the actual abuse of a child. But surely it must be at least acknowledged that taking a few photographs of children in a group via a hidden camera is nowhere near as traumatic for the child who is sexually abused.

Basically men can be uscrupulous at getting what they want!

And so can women. Paedophilia doesn't have a gender even though in the main child sex offenders are male.

If you blame the church for anything, blame them for not having swift a fast punishment!

Instead the church covers up abuse and moves priests to other parishes.

Instead the church bullies and guilt trips the victims and their parents into not saying anything which is why so many priests get away with it.

Their past hush hush history is what breed more impropriety

Well of course that will happen.

No matter how unacceptable the act, if it's not addressed and dealt with, if it's not brought to task, if its hushed up and brushed under the carpet then it's easy to think that it's perfectly acceptable because there are no consequences.

[Guest]

why?

[mogadishu]

a bbc documentary recently alleged that the present pope previously systematically hid abuse within the church. catholic bishops reacted against it, but the allegations were well known. people spoke out about it when benedict was first declared a pope.