Marriage : love or friendship, which is essential?

[u_guessed_it]

I have seen friends quarrelling and I have seen couples quarrelling
But I really don’t understand what is that magic that works between friends, that makes them bury everything behind and remain friends. Well, with the couples it’s an exception
Seriously couples start silly fights on silly things and things go out of control and issue becomes bigger. Why is it so? Why couples fight, and then break where as friends they patch up their differences. I guess it’s a problem with possessiveness. Don’t know why we can’t give that freedom to our spouses that we give to friends that “I love the way you are “ and still don’t possessive about it. Why? Why? Why?
I guess not all couples are good friends. But does that mean just friend ship enough to make a good couple? I am perplexed. I found this article in a website which discusses it
But still I am confused about it. Can somebody help?
BTW here is the article
http://www.matrimonyxpress.com/2006/11/couples/is-friendship-the-secret-of-a-successful-marriage#more-266

[bellydanca]

Good topic though noone has picked up on it. It is an old topic but I'll bump it up anyway!

My thoughts:

The reason why couples fight is that when you are in a relationship and more so when you get married (don't say it doesn't make a difference because it does ok! ), the other person's behaviour affects your life. If your friend does this and that and you don't like it, at the end of the day you are not that bothered cos it doesn't affect you, not really.

An example: if your friend spends loads and loads of money on crap, you might dissapprove and you might tell them, and they may or may not take that advice but if you were married to that person, their spending would affect both your finances.

You mention silly fights about silly things. These start because the root causes are not so silly! Couples have history and oftentimes their self esteem, to some extent, is involved with the other person and their relationship. Example: One partner might be upset that the other didn't do something they had asked and have a go at them saying 'you didn't do this!' when what they really mean is 'you don't love me DO YOU?!' (and throw in some past misdameanors for good measure)

Any less confused u_guessed-it?