Any Advice For My Shy Daughter?

[THAT_GUEST]

Phys ed teachers in states are a rare breed. They think that if they had the kids under their care a large part of the day, grades in all other subjects would go up. Yet if you ask them for help on history, math, science, computer technology, or the trade shops, they are absolutely clueless. Stop and think about it, if they were good for anything else, they wouldn't be in phys ed!

They really don't even have a grasp on how the body works during exertion. They have their whistles, their class lists, and their list of tasks that must be completed under state law, and whatever time is left, they run you and play a game in 20 mintues.

Kinda worthless if you ask me. But still, after sweating, I would rather shower and be fresh and clean for the remainder of the day, than stink and get picked on for it.

[Constance T]

Marie D,

If you were or are lucky enough to have had shower stalls in school then that's great, but even if there aren't stalls I don't think there's anything wrong with expecting students to shower after gym class.

Clearly no teacher should be staring at the students while they are nude, but if she observes the girl's to make sure that they are indeed showering, and that their not goofing off then I don't see the problem? Were not talking about a male teacher watching the girl's and I don't see a problem with a female teacher being in the girl's locker room? As I, and I believe one of the other ladies mentioned, sometimes a FEMALE gym teacher would even shower in the girl's shower room with us after a gym class, there wasn't anything unusual about it.

I think part of the problem is that these days too many people can not seperate innocent nudity like in a locker room with sex. And by no means am I a nudist or anything close to that, but sooner or later everyone realizez that there are bigger concerns in life than whether or not another female in the locker room is seeing you in the nude! We all have bodies, and as long as your not in view of the opposite sex then I don't see what the big deal is? I change clothes and shower in a women's locker room 3 nights a week after I swim, and not once have I ever stared at another woman in the locker room or felt that I was being watched either. No ones looking anyway!

As to the part about employes making sure that you shower before you go swimming, it is there right to require that you are clean before you enter the pool. Again, they shouldn't be staring at you as you shower, but if they have a same-sex employe just making sure that everyone showers before entering the pool then that is well with in their right to do so.

[Guest]

at my school the PE teacher looked like the stereotypical lesbian and was unmarried and in her mid 40s. she would stand and watch us all shower and we all hated it, and we all thought she was gay.

a few years after i left school she "came out" as a lesbian. if she had been a man watching teenage girls shower she would have been called a paedophile.

it bothers me the idea of my daughter when she goes to secondary school having to shower naked. not just because of the above issues but also because having to shower naked after PE contributed massively to my own eating disorder.

i was pretty happy with my body before the year we started with that teacher, who would make us shower naked. but once we had to shower naked the bullies would laugh at my "flubber " as they called it and i started starving myself. i wasn't even overweight at the time, i was 5'7" and weighed 9st which is actually the lower end of normal weight for that height, but twice a week being laughed at made me believe i was grotesque and i starved myself right down to 6.5st. My hair started fallilng out, i was anaemic and i later suffered poor fertility, though i was eventually able to have children i have poor bone mass and am likely to suffer with osteoporosis as i get older. i have had several fractures already.

[Dawn P]

If the women's locker room at my gym is an acurate example of how females view their bodies then I don't think there is any shyness left in the world? The women at my gym seem to love to flaunt their naked bodies.

Just a few days ago I was in the shower room in my swimsuit after a swim but I was surounded by probably about 17 naked women. I think I felt awkward and embarrassed because of being the only non-naked woman?

Perhaps it might be best to get used to the nudity thing at a young age when it's easier to adjust and just go with the flow?

[charlottestanley]

I attended a jr./sr. high school in the 80's that taught grades 7-12. I can honestly say that when I had to shower with 20 other girls in my gym class while the gym teacher made sure we complied it was quite traumatic. What made it all of the worse was that we were not separated by grade level and that I a very much undeveloped 11 year old was made to shower next to a 16-17 year old with a full pubic bush and fully developed breasts. I just feel that if showers were deemed important school gym showers should have curtains. How hard is that??

[Guest]

I attended a jr./sr. high school in the 80's that taught grades 7-12. I can honestly say that when I had to shower with 20 other girls in my gym class while the gym teacher made sure we complied it was quite traumatic. What made it all of the worse was that we were not separated by grade level and that I a very much undeveloped 11 year old was made to shower next to 16-17 year olds with a full pubic bush and fully developed breasts. I just feel that if showers were deemed important school gym showers should have curtains. How hard is that??

[Guest]

Hi! I wrote on here about having GAD and being afraid of showering in the nude, I remembered my highschool paper, each week a poem was submitted by girls in the creative writing club annonomously. These are just examples of them:

I walk in,
All eyes on me,
I stand at the far end,
Furthest from the tall girls,
The tall, thin, flawless ones,
The ones with endless money,
Beautiful bodies,
Eyes like twinkle,
Eyes that melt all boys’ hearts,
The look over at me,
I can feel my heart flutter,
I lean forward so my dark hair covers my face,
The tallest girl whispers something,
Giggles erupt at their end of the room,
Everybody turns to them,
Soon they are all facing me,
I look across,
My eyes are filling, They’re faces blur,
The girl next to me says something unheard,
I open my mouth to answer,
But nothing comes,
My heart beats faster,
My vision becomes distorted,
The girl touches my arm,
I flinch,
A burst of laughter rolls through them,
That crowd watching me,
They’re eyes burn into mine,
And then,
A solitary tear rolls down my cheek;
They’ve one,
They’ve done it,
They made me cry.

This is obviously about the being in the showers,

I sit in English,
The teacher’s voice drones on,
I look across at the girls next to me,
They are scrawling something down,
The girl behind me passed a note to me,
I catch a glimpse of the familiar picture scrawled across it,
There’s a stick figure,
She has a big belly,
She has wide legs,
And a huge teardrop,
Falling from her fat face…

The aftermath of the showers,

I look down,
They look down on me,
I look up,
They laugh,
I look away,
They tease,
I look at them,
They walk over,
I look blank,
They look mean,
I look unconscious,
They look mean,
They walk over me,
They tease,
They laugh,
They look down on me.

Her highshool experience.

And finally a not from a girl who left, She was biratial hispanic/black and she got teased lots for it:
My name is Leila,
I’m probably in your English class or in your French group or maybe in your set for maths, But you never bothered to look at me, you never saw me as who I am. You just saw me as the girl with Greeny skin, Oh Yeah, Did I forget to metion, I’m not deaf, I heard all your comments, I know what you though of me, and I want you to know what I think of you,
I know this in an . poem section but I wanted you to know how I felt
And that it was me feeling it,
And that I was brave enough to say it.

In my school,
There’s Cliques,
They think I’m a fool, a freak
Because I’m not one of them,
I don’t fit in one of them,
You can’t just force me to be someone I’m not,
I’m not preppy,
I’m not nerdy,
I’m NOT fast,
I don’t like pink,
My hair is not blond,
My family aren’t rich,
I’m not incredible bright,
I don’t take drugs,
I don’t like fighting,
I just want people to know,
You think I’m a freak, a fool,
You think that just because,
I don’t fit into your view of life,
In you’re views of the world,
That I’m “off”,
Because I speak differently,
My hair isn’t curly,
Just frizzy,
My skin isn't white,
Isn’t black,
Isn’t blue, Isn’t really Green,
I’m not an alien,
I’m not a freak.
I don’t look like you,
I don’t talk like you,
When you notice me,
You notice my colour,
My fast speech,
My inability to communicate,
But you don’t notice me,
That quiet, kind kid.
And the thing is,
If you missed it,
It’s too late,
I changed,
See you treated me like a freak,
And I became it,
I became the girl who talks to fast,
And has greeny skin;
Now, that’s me.
I’m not quiet, I’m not Kind and I am not a Kid,
I’m not quiet, I talk constanly, It’s my defence,
See people don’t understand it, So I can say what I want now,
I’m not kind, No, that’s completely gone, Now, I’m a bitch,
I have no belief in humanity, People Suck,
I am not a kid, I grew out of that one, I realized that you grow up quick;
Or you get hurt,
When you are reading this,
I’ll be gone,
And I hope that you never think of me again,
That when you look at my empty seat,
You think, isn’t that funny,
I’m sure the’re was someone there,
But I don’t know who.
Because if you had left me alone,
I would still be there, Being happily ignored.

She was really unhappy, but no-one ever saw it because she was quiet and kind and just a kid...

I know these arn't about showering nude, But to me it wasn' about the nude thing, it was about being judged, being alone.
These girls felt like this,
Thing is, the world's changed, that world you knew isn't here any more, Being self-concious is the norm, and it is how life works, i know your daughter might be fine with it now and i am dredging up old stuff, but you have to forget what happened "in your day".
By the time my son is 16, the world won't be how it is now, i can only pray that body issues are easier, but i don't think they will!

[THAT_GUEST]

I attended a jr./sr. high school in the 80's that taught grades 7-12. I can honestly say that when I had to shower with 20 other girls in my gym class while the gym teacher made sure we complied it was quite traumatic. What made it all of the worse was that we were not separated by grade level and that I a very much undeveloped 11 year old was made to shower next to a 16-17 year old with a full pubic bush and fully developed breasts. I just feel that if showers were deemed important school gym showers should have curtains. How hard is that??

It isn't an issue of difficulty, it is an issue on MONEY! Schools nowadays often times can't even a afford a text book for every student. I can assure you, shower curtains don't even get considered at budget meetings. Schools can't supply paper, pencils, pens, and other school supplies anymore. The teachers make a list of what the kids will need, and every parent buys the same thing to avoid any individual attention and distractions in the classroom. Having the PE teacher eyeballing you isn't comfortable, I'll give you that. But take a look around at how molds are getting more dangerous, and bacteria and viruses more resistant. We need to start teaching the kids to get over nudity issues and take in the bigger picture. I would add shower sandals, antibacterial soap, maybe even surgical scrub and a clean towel everyday to the list, along with a proper size bag to carry all of their {children's} belongings in.

[Guest]

I attended a jr./sr. high school in the 80's that taught grades 7-12. I can honestly say that when I had to shower with 20 other girls in my gym class while the gym teacher made sure we complied it was quite traumatic. What made it all of the worse was that we were not separated by grade level and that I a very much undeveloped 11 year old was made to shower next to a 16-17 year old with a full pubic bush and fully developed breasts. I just feel that if showers were deemed important school gym showers should have curtains. How hard is that??

Are you from the USA or the UK?

My mother who was in school in the 1950's said that a 12th grade girl was always stationed in the girls locker room to make sure that the younger girls were actually showering. She also said that when she was in school that all of the grades from 7 through 12 had gym class together, like you said you had. But when I was in high school in the 1980's it was only kids from the same grades that had gym together. I am surprised that you had a mixed gym class grade wise in the 1980's. Was that in the USA or UK, if you don't mind my asking?

[Guest]

I attended a jr./sr. high school in the 80's that taught grades 7-12. I can honestly say that when I had to shower with 20 other girls in my gym class while the gym teacher made sure we complied it was quite traumatic. What made it all of the worse was that we were not separated by grade level and that I a very much undeveloped 11 year old was made to shower next to 16-17 year olds with a full pubic bush and fully developed breasts. I just feel that if showers were deemed important school gym showers should have curtains. How hard is that??

Sorry, I forgot to add that you shouldn't feel embarrassed about the age difference that you had back then. No-one would expect an 11 year old to be developed, and I'm sure the other girls weren't even looking at your body.

[Charlotte Stanley]

I attended a small jr./sr. high school in Florida, USA and yes it was quite uncomfortable showering with older girls. Showers certainly should have been provided after gym, there is no argument here , curtains would have been nice, but they never should never make it mandatory that a girl take communal showers.

[Tim M S]

they never should never make it mandatory that a girl take communal showers.

I have a problem with that statement.

My problem is that you said that "they should never make it mandatory that a GIRL take communal showers." They have no more of a right to make boys take communal showers than girls.

The high school that I went to had communal shower rooms for both the gym and pool. At my school that I went to they did not have a mandatory rule that you had to shower after gym class. But the girls always did shower nude, I know that because the girls were always telling us guys how disgusting we were for not showering after gym class, and when we would say that we did not want to be seeing each other naked they would just tell us we were being silly and that they didn't have a problem with being naked in front of each other. And the female gym teacher would say to us that the girls aren't bothered by showering together and that we should be more like them.

Us guys never showered after gym class, and even tried to change in private even when we were still wearing underwear.

I'm not saying that girls should have to be naked in front of each other, but it seems like that in general girls are usually more comfortable with it than guys. I think a few of the women on here even said that they feel the same way?

[JimmyJames]

Tim, you make a good point about the rights of privacy between the boys and girls. There shouldn't be that degree of inequality. But by Charlotte post, she was much younger, I believe 11 yo showering with much older, and more developed girls, in their mid to late teens. I can see where there would be some issues with that, but it shows that not all girls are more comfortable naked around each than guys.

That female gym teacher was goofy for making a comment like that. I have never been in any locker room that didn't have communal showers. It kind of sucks walking across an open room of wet tile with soap all over it! Shoes don't help much, except maybe to prevnt athlete's foot.

[Guest]

I find it hard to believe that high school girls would be more comfortable showering than boys. I have spoken to some who attended a high school where the boys had open showers and the girls had private showers.

The high school that I went to had communal shower rooms for both the gym and pool. At my school that I went to they did not have a mandatory rule that you had to shower after gym class. But the girls always did shower nude, I know that because the girls were always telling us guys how disgusting we were for not showering after gym class, and when we would say that we did not want to be seeing each other naked they would just tell us we were being silly and that they didn't have a problem with being naked in front of each other. And the female gym teacher would say to us that the girls aren't bothered by showering together and that we should be more like them.

Us guys never showered after gym class, and even tried to change in private even when we were still wearing underwear.

I'm not saying that girls should have to be naked in front of each other, but it seems like that in general girls are usually more comfortable with it than guys. I think a few of the women on here even said that they feel the same way?[/quote]

[Annette A]

I find it hard to believe that high school girls would be more comfortable showering than boys. I have spoken to some who attended a high school where the boys had open showers and the girls had private showers

I don't have a clue what boys are like in their locker rooms. But remembering back to my school I have to say that very few of the girls in my gym classes were shy in the locker room. We all showered in communal showers, and I would say that only a few girls ever even bothered to wrap a towell around them walking around the locker room. I think that the women who had had bad experiences when they were in their teens have related their feelings about this topic because it's something they feel passionite about. But the biggest majority of us did not really consider it to be an issue when we were in school. It was just the way things were, it was only us girls in the locker room, so almost nobody cared one way or the other.