Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:28 pm Post subject: Husband likes to be caned
My husband has told me that he became sexually aroused when he was caned or slippered at school and he asked me to do it to him. I told him I didn't want to and thought that would be the end of it. However, on Saturday morning I went into the bathroom while he was showering and noticed that he had numerous red stripes across his backside. He tried to hide them by quickly turning the other way but when I challenged him he admitted that on Friday night he had visited a disciplinarian he had found on an Internet site to be punished. He also admited that he had m*sturbated afterwards. He has accused me of being responsible as I refused to cane him. I hate the idea of hurting him but I would rather do it than have him going elsewhere again.
Is there something wrong with him? Is this quite common as he suggests and are there any men or women out there who can help me understand.
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: Reply
I can tell from the way that you have written this that it has come as a shock to you. This I can understand. I can also understand your reluctance at this stage, but it is far more common than you realise at this point, and like many other topics are almost Tabboo and do not get discussed properly.
For him to have been to visit a disciplinarian, you can rest assured that he has harboured these desires for a long long time. Most people never get past the idea and have not got the courage to persue the matter, so it is in fact a deep routed desire that has not just taken his fancy.
There is a lot of information out there on the net, but my personal perspective is as always for the two of you to engage in dialogue and discuss this without embarrassing him, and with an open a mind as you can.
There is no harm in what he wants as long as you are OK with things as a couple.
I would suggest that if you can you view it as a form of Play, rather than the inflicting of Pain on him, in fairness if you are prepared to play, and he is prepared to take what you are giving out, where is the problem? It only seems weird because being the reserved English people that we are, we do not discuss what turns us on.
My advice, look into it together, talk it through, and if you can dip a toe in the water, do so, you never know you might find out something about both of you. Lets face it , what have you got to loose.
you may grow to not only find it acceptable,
but actually enjoy 'punishing' this 'bad boy'!
agree w/ ^ BTW. he is and has been a Very 'bad boy' who needs to be punished'!
he is especially bad when failing to lick you Off to CUMpletion 2 or 3 x daily 3 wks of 4. when he is this bad; - his punishment ought to include having you spank his nads wilst tied spread eagle facing up so you can see his pitiful gaged face and he can see how displeased YOU ARE ar the excuse for a pussy eating man he is.
you perhaps also need explore your freedom to 'see real men' since he is such a poor excuse for a man, which will allow you to find his replacement before dumping the loser.
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:36 pm Post subject: Initial Post
It is interesting that this has not got more replies considering the amount of people that have looked at it, and how common this issue is, but rarely discussed.
The issue of Corporal Punishment playing a part in the lives of so called ordinary Human beings is far more common that we admit in my opinion. It woul be interesting to hear from the initial Poster to enquire if she has got any further in accepting of not accepting her husbands request.
I was subjected to a Strap and Cane when I was younger by both Male and Female discipliners, along with other aspects of discipline, and whilst the events were undoubtedly painful at the time, the punishment that I receievd at the hands of the Female are remembered far more fondly than the harsh severe Beatings that I remember from the Male. However, I would be hard pushed to say which were actually worse but in my minds eye.
To the original person who asked for help I agree with second post, there is nothing wrong with your husbands requests as long as you are both getting something from it.
As the OP I would like to thank the few who did reply to my initial message and provided me with the reasurances that he is not the only one. Prior to this revelation I always thought that I new everything he liked sexually and we made a point of talking about his passed experiences at school and afterwards. He told me that he did not want to be caned all the time and that he had visited other disciplinarians on odd occasions. I explained that I didn't realise that his desire was so strong as I just didn't realise that his need was quiteso common and agreed to cane him. He ordered one on line and I have only used it on him once so far. It certainly aroused him and afterwards he wanted me to watch him m*sturbate, which I enjoyed much more than hurting him.
I do wish that I was better at role play as I am sure I could make it more enjoyable for him and we have agreed on no more than once a month - unless I decide otherwise. I do enjoy knowing that I can arouse him in a different way and watching him pleasure himself afterwards. I have offered to help out but he tells me it is all part of the humiliating experience that he craves. Our regular sex life has actually increased a little and overall, after the initial shock of the discovery, it isn't such a big deal.
I do wish that I was better at role play as I am sure I could make it more enjoyable for him and we have agreed on no more than once a month - unless I decide otherwise. I do enjoy knowing that I can arouse him in a different way and watching him pleasure himself afterwards.
My ex was also a bit uncertain about doing this, but she, like you discovered that it was not a big deal, and she got more and more into it over time.
Eventually I think it was two things that she really enjoyed. The power she had over me to get me really excited (even from a completely "cold" start), and the fact that when she go upset with me (which she did) she could use it as a positive way of punishing me.
I remember once at a dinner party with friends I said someting a little untactful, and she said something like "You deserve a spanking for that". She said it like it could be a joke, but one of her friends picked up onit and asked "Do you spank him regularly then?", "All the time" she said, "and he never seems to learn". Everyone it as a joke, but I knew she was serious and I would have a sore bum that night. I had hard on for most of the evening thinking about it.
Other times she would pass me little notes saying (12 tonight) or something like that.
Later I found out that her friend had also been having similar discussions with her hubby and as a result of talking to my ex decided to start spanking him too.
We had two rules, she couldn't do it more than twice a week, and it was always her decision when I would be spanked and how hard. Often she used to handcuff me before doing it, so that she would have complete freedom to spank me as much as she wanted.
When I was first married I was tempted constantly by spanking adverts etc. After two years I asked my wife to spank me which she did. I kept clear of punishment or domination as I believe this was unhealthy. Now that I can have it when I want it is no longer a fetish as it only happens occasionally as a sort of foreplay leading to good sex.
Occasionally I do it to her but lightly. This switches me on as well. I make sure everything finishes with IC.
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