Why get married?

rebel-carpenter · Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:15 pm Post subject: Why get married?

I'm very anti marriage and don't understand the whole thing at all. I'm an idealist and Utopian dreamer at heart and know that marriage could never be what I want it to be (humans being humans), so I've opted out. I'm very happy with this decision and will never get married.

I can't help but think that its just a fairytale dream and that in nearly one out of two marriages, that dream falls apart. I don't understand the whole big day thing either..

Anyone explain what is so appealing about marriage? (what is with these underscored words and links?????)

Fred75 · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 7448

Well, before no fault divorce, marriage meant something.

It was vows made before God and witness's.

Setting that aside....
Not marrying is also a sign that your really not wanting to commit.
Because if it were all the same there would be no excuse now.... would there?

I also suggest you look at the failure rate of shacking up versus marriage.
You will see that marriage has twice the track record of success.

YAS · You Go Girl (100+ Posts) Joined: 13 Feb 2008 Posts: 148

Well me & my husband aren't religious in anyway, we were told when we got married at our guildhall that we were not allowed any religious content during the service.
We got married because we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our live's together & wanted to be adressed as man & wife by our friends & family & be tied by that by the laws of our country. Its a personal thing but you dont need to be religious to get married.

When I had my first daughter my husband wasn't allowed any rights at the hospital because he wasn't my husband, he couldn't register her birth without me being there because he wasn't married to me even though he was her father! By the time I had my second daughter we were married & he registerd her birth & signed medical forms for me & our daughter that he wasn't allowed to sign the first time round so it does have it's benefits.

I love being a wife & I love knowing I have devoted myself to my husband forever & also that he has devoted himself to me. We are a family now & all share a last name.

Its a wonderfull feeling knowing your spending the rest of your life with someone.

rebel-carpenter · Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:59 pm Post subject:

Fred, I don't think not marrying someone means that you don't want to commit. Although I will admit to never wanting to be referred to as "the husband" or "hubby". Eek. I am actually a bit of a romantic person and actually think staying with someone cause you love them, is far more special than staying with them just because you are married.

Different strokes for different folks. Just was wondering why most people get married..

Smile

peej20 · Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject:

I am getting married mainly so that if we have children they have a mummy and daddy who are married. It's hard to grow up with parents who aren't married because of different names etc. I know that families come in all shapes and sizes but i think that marriage helps with the stability.

rebel-carpenter · Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:34 pm Post subject:

I don't want kids, but I do agree its best for parents to be married Smile

urbanfox · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:06 pm Post subject:

jinjin · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 11 Oct 2006 Posts: 82006

It is strictly a personal decision. If you are happy with your personal choice then that is great for you.

In most religions, a strong believer views marriage and raising children as a requirement of life. However, there are other beliefs (e.g. Buddhism) that neither encourage nor discourage marriage and have no requirements for raising children.

From most religious points of view, those activities considered lustful and sinful before marriage become a virtuous love after marriage. From a secular point of view, this distinction is illogical.

For those that do not follow religion, it is not uncommon for some to adopt the conventions of their regional area to fit in. For them, the marriage may represent a personal celebration of well being.

Aside from making a public declaration of love, people (both religious and non-religious) may also marry for legal, social and economic stability; forming a family unit; and obtaining citizenship.

What should matter to you is not whether you are meeting other people's expectations of life, but that you are meeting your own expectations. If you are satisfied that you have done your best to achieve your life choices then you have done well.

genekelly · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:13 pm Post subject:

Look at Jinjin - that's the reason to get married!