Terrible mother

[The daughter]

Now older and wiser at 25 I know what a mother should be and feel my mother was a terrible one.

It seems she has never wanted to be a mother despite having 4 children. She was a terrible role model and I feel as a result my father had to play the role of both mother and father. She didnt take any pride in being a mum, doing the normal motherly duties. She wouldnt go out to the weekly shopping etc

My dad never really saw how this affected us, and hence I have negative feeling towards him as he allowed my mother to behave in many ways that arent the norm.

She went through depression, however as a young child, my siblings and I shouldnt have been the one's to deal with it. Due to her depression and paranoid thoughts she would feed us her bad thoughts.

This has made me terrified of being a mother, I do not want to be ANYTHING like her. I will put off motherhood for a long while and blame her.

[friday13th]

I sympathise. Having had a terrible relationship with my mother since I was about ten (I'm seventeen now) and witnessed her breaking down my parents' marriage, it's easy to say your mother's role has prevented you wanting to be a mother. But I guess it's worked a different way with me - I'd like to become a mother to show the world that I can do it and maybe even to show my mother that I can.

[Verve]

She's not that bad a mother. You’re still alive. You could be dead like so many other children in the world. Be grateful.

[the daughter]

The verve, you may not appreciate having two sane parents, but I sure would. Your post was the greatest of contributions, to be frank.

friday13, good to hear that the negative experience has made you that stronger person. Good luck for the future!