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fatand30
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 29 May 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: I am so depressed |
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I have just split with my BF and although I know it is for the best, I am desperately sad. We just could never seem to get things right and made eachother sad alot of the time.
Days are hard, and nights are very lonely and I sometimes just need a cuddle and someone to say everything will be ok. I have thought so many times about calling him to see if he wants to come over, but I know it's not fair to do that as he wants to try again but I know we will split again if we tried and I dont think I could take the upset again.
I feel like such a loser. All I get from friends is "You will find someone new" "time heals everything"
Can anyone give me some better advice? |
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Mr B
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 2459
Location: By the River Tay
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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| No, because what they say is true. You're missing the company more than you're missing him, try not to confuse the two. |
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Verve
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 5485
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 1:02 am Post subject: |
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Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1583
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 2:42 am Post subject: Re: I am so depressed |
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| fatand30 wrote: |
I have just split with my BF and although I know it is for the best, I am desperately sad. We just could never seem to get things right and made eachother sad alot of the time.
Days are hard, and nights are very lonely and I sometimes just need a cuddle and someone to say everything will be ok. I have thought so many times about calling him to see if he wants to come over, but I know it's not fair to do that as he wants to try again but I know we will split again if we tried and I dont think I could take the upset again.
I feel like such a loser. All I get from friends is "You will find someone new" "time heals everything"
Can anyone give me some better advice? |
Where are you? I've got a plan that I think will help.  |
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theblackpanther
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
Posts: 5314
Location: IN THE SHADOW'S
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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HI - FATAND30
BEEN THERE KIDDA -- LEFT A 16 YEAR RELATIONSHIP --JUST
WALKED OUT , AND STARTED A FRESH -------IT'S HARD AT THE BEGINNING BUT IT DOES GET BETTER --
FRIEND'S ARE RIGHT YOUR STILL ONLY YOUNG --THERE IS MORE
FISH IN THE SEA ------ FRIENDS ARE A GREAT HELP
I'AM SINGLE --BUT HAPPY ---BEFORE LIKE YOU -SAD --
NO WAY TO LIVE ---
THING'S DO GET BETTER KIDDA --TRUST ME --
PANTHERS BEEN THERE --
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Bouncy
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Posts: 13379
Location: In a Bouncy Castle
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 2:07 pm Post subject: Re: I am so depressed |
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| fatand30 wrote: |
Can anyone give me some better advice? |
Get a pet. Something you can cuddle. It'll give you the unconditional love you're lacking at the moment. |
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fatand30
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 29 May 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you for the cuddles and advice.
I must sound such a loser and I know there are loads of other people going through the same thing, but I feel like the loneliest person in the world.
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Topic Of Gossip
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 5261
Location: London
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:46 am Post subject: |
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| fatand30 wrote: |
Thank you for the cuddles and advice.
I must sound such a loser and I know there are loads of other people going through the same thing, but I feel like the loneliest person in the world.
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I think the worst thing to do when you're feeling sad and lonely after a break-up is to... stay inside at home on your own. All you will do is think about him and what might have been.
You should be getting out as much as possible even if it's just for a walk down town. Be around friends and stay with friends if you can, or maybe invite them around to your place for a meal and to stay over.
Set yourself a goal each day. Maybe to do something that you had put-off doing or hadn't the time to do before. Be active and outgoing even if (especially if) all you feel like doing is staying in and thinking about what happened.
Your mind needs distractions otherwise it will just dwell on the past which is not what you need right now.
Time can be a friend and a foe. Yes, as people have been telling you, in time things will get better. However without distractions, interacting with other people and making yourself busy, that time will feel painful, drag and move very slowly indeed.
Whatever happened in your last relationship you are now a stronger and wiser person for it. Think positive. Think of all the other wonderful things that make up your life now, even if it's just seeing the Sun come out in the morning or a lovely clear blue sky. 
Most importantly take charge of your life, get out there and see what it has to offer you. You can be happy again, but sometimes you have to go out there and grab it rather than waiting for it to come to you.
Good luck now! |
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Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1583
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| Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:32 am Post subject: |
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| Topic Of Gossip wrote: |
| fatand30 wrote: |
Thank you for the cuddles and advice.
I must sound such a loser and I know there are loads of other people going through the same thing, but I feel like the loneliest person in the world.
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I think the worst thing to do when you're feeling sad and lonely after a break-up is to... stay inside at home on your own. All you will do is think about him and what might have been.
You should be getting out as much as possible even if it's just for a walk down town. Be around friends and stay with friends if you can, or maybe invite them around to your place for a meal and to stay over.
Set yourself a goal each day. Maybe to do something that you had put-off doing or hadn't the time to do before. Be active and outgoing even if (especially if) all you feel like doing is staying in and thinking about what happened.
Your mind needs distractions otherwise it will just dwell on the past which is not what you need right now.
Time can be a friend and a foe. Yes, as people have been telling you, in time things will get better. However without distractions, interacting with other people and making yourself busy, that time will feel painful, drag and move very slowly indeed.
Whatever happened in your last relationship you are now a stronger and wiser person for it. Think positive. Think of all the other wonderful things that make up your life now, even if it's just seeing the Sun come out in the morning or a lovely clear blue sky.
Most importantly take charge of your life, get out there and see what it has to offer you. You can be happy again, but sometimes you have to go out there and grab it rather than waiting for it to come to you.
Good luck now! |
Precisely!
When I asked you where you are I guess everybody thought I was being jaundiced. Like I'm some sort of lounge lizard.
Not at all. All I wanted to do was to google your area and tell you of all the wonderful places and interests that you could pursue in order to avoid the depression of loss. I've done this successfully for others before. You can do it yourself. Just google your area or city and see what is available. There are a lot of diversions that can take your mind off of matters. Outdoors, museums, art, hobbies, bird-watching…whatever.
The most important thing is not to sit around and sulk.
inside and dwell on your own depression. |
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