Thank You Marilyn King !

[Lena]

Still am tired ,went for a walk in the rain . Looking forward to a  nap before going into work later this afternoon .Yesterday took alot out of me but at least I made some money . Made enough in wages - tips to make most my  car payment for the month .  Frieda was real generous and at the hotel we worked a corporate party where the company and the guests were generous too. 

Even though I was supposedly the manager yesterday at Frieda's was mainly a clerk . About the only management things I did were sign for the order of daily prepared food , show the soon to end used book store to a guy who wants to start a student travel agency , and keep a eye on the receipts, run to the bank to get change ,and lucky lucky me get to swept the place & clean out the bathrooms...............


Things were a little hectic at first but for the most part until about 10 PM or so things went fine meaning I had the energy to handle it all. When I first got to Frieda's coffee boutique we had to run around like chickens with there heads cut off brewing coffee and laying out all the breakfast food of fruit and pastrys . Had a new employee Nell with me . You'd think since it's on the second floor Frieda's place wud miss out on the big morning rush that happens at coffee places here when people drop in on there way to work for a drink and food. But thats not the case , don't know if it's since the morning coffee fad is so big here or ( as I'd like to think ) the word was out wonderful moi wud be there but they had a big crowd like you'd see at a STARBUCKS or those TIM HORTONS all over Canada . For awhile it was so insanely busy it felt like I was working the bar at the hotel during the KENTUCKY DERBY when we get tsunamied with customers. All sorts of people but mostly connected to the university and retail people from around the area .


By 9AM though things slowed down to the point we were not so manic which was nice . I was able to get out and sweep up & clear the tables and also have the ' joy ' of cleaning up the bathrooms ................ After scouring myself went back to the counter while Nell took a break and handle the crowd . Had one tall thing bald guy in his 40's who looked real dorky , even wore socks with sandals who gave me detailed almost Anal directions about how to make him a capuchino . I watched as he drank it and was just delited to see his holiness looking satisfied with the result ................ . My lifes now complete . Then had a group of retired professors come in for a weekly get together , they remained me of the old guys who come in the coffee boutique by our house.Is there some a rule or law every coffee boutique has to set aside a table for geezers to come in and talk ? The guys were nice though A few yuppy types to during the day . They come in order a cup of coffee then ask about the place being wi -fied then set up shop breaking out the cell phone and laptop One blond woman in her early 20's in this very nice looking red suit stayed most of the whole working from day a table in the corner .


By the time we got to mid- morning things were slower then george bush jr's brain . The only excitement then was spending 15 minutes or so with a broom chasing out a bird who some how flew in the place . Finally for that critter out by opening a window . After that Nell filled me in on the store gossip . Allison the goth girl who worked with me the last time there is gone . She was nice but so unhappy and fat . But good for her she decided to take control of her life , is now on a big camping trip for disturbed rich kids where you go up into the mountains have this trial by fire experience learning self confidence by taking care of yourself . Also the two packs of assholes who were ruining the place are gone for the summer at least . The one group that thought they were the smartest people ever all all back home or doing something college student like backpacking around Europe .The other group that not only thought they were smarter but also cooler then everyone broke up .One guy died from a OD ( he always looked like a doper ) and 2 other got in a big feud . The one real loudmouth of the group this tall lite skinned black guy named Hugh got posted ( legally banned ) from the place after he started arguing then wrestling / fighting with another customer while they were waiting in line at the counter. Good riddance ! The juiceist news was about Frieda herself !! Although she claims to be celibate Nell mentioned how Frieda's been fooling around with a woman about 30 whose a graduate student and part time teacher at the university . Hmmm..................

No news on the older jewish woman professor who was trying to steal a married jewish male professor from his jewish doctor wife . I was looking forward to seeing her again since the woman is so way out there in terms of being selfish and a hypocrite .The last time was quite the little soap opera to watch , we caught on to what was doing on as did some people at near-by tables The mans' wife was very quiet but didn't say a word to the wud be home wrecker but you know she had to be fuming inside ,and who could blame her ? The lady professor is pretty vile , often loud and always seems to be complaining about anti-semantacism or whatever it's called being directed at her . Maybe this summer she's in israel bulldozing Palestinians homes to make way for more israeli settlements ?


Although Frieda only serves pre-prepared sandwiches and salads the place did a great lunch business. At one point all the tables were full and me and Nell were on automatic manic again trying to keep up with the mob . Didn't see my buddy , the two older professors who are so nice to me and cal me barefoot princess" . Did talk to one of there friends though who say thats there nickname for me and that at first he didn't recognize me since I had my sneakers on .Also how they think I am smart and interesting whatever interesting means .Being men maybe that they want to have sex with me or since there eggheads are amazed a hillbilly who has a brain .

At 3PM booked for the hotel . later TT to Frieda who said I did a good job and will we waitress at her next poetry slam ..............? Do love Frieda but hate being drafted into working . But may have found a cure when I said a woman who I thought was a student was in looking for her . All of a sudden Frieda wasn't too interested in getting me to work , had to hang up to take care one of her kids.

Tomorrow will post about last nite and tonite at the hotel .Now have to get ready to go back to work . In a faded old green T shirt and jean cut-offs work the black cocktail waitress dress , nude seamed stockings ,and black flats

[Lena]

Things have settled down here at FF ...................good !

Sunday morning & things are slow . Moi is taking it easy with a cup of coffee in no real hurry to do anything . Outside it's raining cats and dogs , have all the windows open which seems to bring it closer . Really wish we had a screened - in porch just to go out to sit and watch the rain .Karin's sleeping , she got home a hour ago and after taking a shower to wash off all the germs she may have picked up at the hospital headed straight to bed . The cats are fine , as usual Agatha is stretched out like CLEOPATRA on the back of the couch while Fritz the alpha male is on another chair giving himself his usual morning bath .

I've loved sitting around with coffee doing nothing but taking it easy .Really is a wonderful feeling , in it 's won way right up there with waking up next to someone else.Working 18 hours on friday and 10 hours yesterday did me in . I can push myself to much at times , am always terrified of being poor again so always eager to make money . Even this morning will have to give up this delicious chilling time to go to my pt job at the country club . But for now will enjoy what I have

Friday as a real marathon working from 7 AM to 1AM . Frieda's done a good job with her coffee boutiques , the one I was at sort of defies the laws of retailing by not being on the ground level , it's on the second floor but she's turned it into a successful business. Although do know she's very excited about taking over the shoe store downstairs when it's lease ends next march and turning it into a coffee place. She's done alot of work promoting the existing place and created a nice atmosphere for people to come and relax . I think it's a gift she has sort of like mine with sex although I've never made any money off it . Whenever I work there it feels like I am part of the big university world of students ,professors, and books . Can feel scarey since school was never moi's thing and feel stupid being around all the smart & educated people but at the same time can be fun Always have loved seeing new things and it is real stimulating .Sometimes I laff hearing people talk about the library basement since thats where Karin and I wud go to have sex when she was a student ................

After finishing there friday drove down to the hotel and changed from my t shirt and jeans into the black cocktail waitress dress but not before a long shower to wash away the smell of the wood floor at Freida's and the pastrys . For some reason the smell of cookies and brownies seems to stick to me . The shower felt great , intense pressure and always hot water . couldn't m'bate as I usually do though since the locker room was full of people saw Cassady the other female bartender getting dressed too, after asking me what I'd done earlier ( at looking confused at the idea of being a round a college ) Cassady proudly informed me and all other s around how she had been at the spa earlier getting her hair cut, a massage , and facial and several other procedures . As usual she was in new shoes, last nite pink platform sandals ........................I just smiled .

We worked a private party together then I closed the bar . No Mr.Dyson whose my favorite customer But did have some army guys in who are headed to Iraq. Al first lieutenants and very very excited . Of course listening in learned none had been there or Afghanistan yet so war is going to be a whole new experience for them . Bet a year from now they'll be like all the other army guys I get in the bar who have actually been there being very very sober/serious ................. By 9-10PM all the strain from working since morning was starting to hit. My lower back started aching real bad and my feet were sore, swollen , and sweaty.All I could think of was going home and sleeping and naturally enough ( ) the time seemed to drag .

At 1:15AM totally exhausted to the point of being numb very happily left breaking company rules by leaving in my uniform and going out a regular door instead of the employee entrance .Rules mean squat when your half dead and it's late at nite . Outside it was raining but being so dog tired that didn't bother me at all , did take my shoes off so they wudn't get ruined and like a zombie trudged thru the rain and puddles to my car . Noticed when I got home was completely soaked but it really didn't mean anything sine all I wanted to do was sleep ............................

Saturday did the Concierge Lounge which was dead . Was able to have a nice snack of cavier, grapes , and two merlots though. Then with Shireen the pt bartender did the usual wedding saturday nite reception .A 200 person crowd , about the only things that stood out about that one was was for the first time in over a year hearing the band play ENDLESS LOVE and you got tell the bride was pregnant but nobody seemed to gossip/laff about it .

Today's rain has stopped for the time being but it's still overcast and you know the rain will be back sooner or later . Love this time doing nothing a and savoring /loving in all the atmosphere of being home in the quiet . Am going to play with the cats for awhile then get ready for work . Heading out in a brown tank top and grayish lime green lite weight canvas mini . At the country club the white blouse, Kelly green jumper dress, nude thigh tops ,and brown flats .

[Lena]

I have a awful hangover....................... Too much red wine last nite , way to much red wine as a matter of fact . All I want is coffee and quiet . My gf is going to give me her "I told you so " attitude about not feeling good since she warned me last nite I was going to far with my drinking , she was right too but in my own defense next to her , the cats and knowing I have money in the bank drinking is my greatest pleasure in life.............

Oh well , will have to suffer thru the results .I usually start to feel better and pick up by noon .Definitely no heavy drinking tonite . Happy to see FF stepped in and ended the fighting , all the nasty attack threads in MEMBERS CHIT CHAT & JUST FOR MEN are gone .Wonder if anyone got banned ?

The country club brunch yesterday as the last till fall . For many it's a huge tradition ( like a sunday afternoon party or rich people's convention ) so they'll miss it . Many of them seemed extra nice including leaving good tips as a " good -bye till October present " . Got very informal at the end with some hugs good-bye and Meghan and I going barefoot and having a drink right there in the ' rich people ' only dining hall . For the rest of the summer there just going to have regular meals , I'll be staying on going from bartender/champagne server to waitress/bartender. Actually it'll be easyer since I will have my own tables and not have to always be keeping a eye out for empty glasses /going from table to table with champagne .Also have the huge annual 4th of july golf tournament coming up where they have me working 2 full days .

The drinking started almost right way after work . Met Karin at some friends who were having a all day open house for the summer solstice. Didn't know they were new agers ! Actually there not , just into nature. The place as full of dykes with someone always coming and going . saw people we knew and met others for the first time . Some good music too, AMY WINEHOUSE really is talented . Also alot of alcohol , as Karin got caught up in a big conversation with some other nurses and of all people a ex Roman Catholic nun moi happily jumped into drinking I ended up on the couch with a few other hard core drinkers having some shooters of tequila and even vodka but as usual eventually concentrated on red wine . By some miracle DID NOT spill any on myself Do recall alot of laffing and people moving around but for the life of cannot remember anything I said or heard .................... Naturally Karin drove home ............... Didn't want to hurt myself or anyone else and there's only one more year till if I get no drunk driving tickets they throw out my conviction at 19 for a serious drunk driving wreck when I totalled my car & 2 parked cars .

Karin said we left about 9 PM and once back home I started drinking more, no surprise since as a alcoholic when I get that deep into drinking I can't stop til I pass out or we run out of alcohol . She said I finished about 10:30PM when I fell asleep . She's off this morning meeting the hospital lawyer about the lawsuit she's part of, moi is home alone and has to get moving at some point . As much fun as drinking is at times it can also be like experiencing your own personal natural disaster...................

Nothing huge planned for today .Probaly do errands & the book store. May go to a farmers market for fresh veggies if Karin gets back before noon . It'll be raining off and on all day so that'll be nice.I love the rain to start with and hate the mix of a sunny cheerful day but having a bad hangover.

Probably going out in my white on top with a lite blue floral print on white skirt tank dress. Now going for more coffee and asprins ................

[Lena]

My hangover didn't go away till mid -afternoon and made life difficult . my gf had no sympathy with my pounding headache and upset stomach saying I did it to myself & should have known better ........................the bitch . Also felt sore and not much energy . As I walked around trying to do things thought to myself this what having major illness or getting old must be like . After that was considering not only AA but also turning into a health & fitness addict ...............

Karin's' handling this lawsuit crap alot better .Yesterday she met with the hospital lawyer, the hospital administrator ,and the trial lawyer to go over her account of what happened the nite the patient died . She asked how it looked as far as her position in this mess goes and the trial lawyer just smiled and said " Don't worry " . She liked that but wanted something ore solid , I understand .After all her job and nursing license are on the line here. She said they asked many questions about what the doctor was doing , that being the pisshead from India who always treated all the nurses like dirt and at first tryed to blame the death on them . My ideal end for this is to see Karin get off and the Indian doctor found guilty or whatever you call it in this kind of case then whipped and sent back to India.....................

After Karin got back and out of her suit and heels we went over to the weekly farmer's market catching the end of it . the best time to go to those is when they actually get going around 7-8 AM when the selection is best and there the most people making it so festive. But then again going late you get good bargains .No surprise not too any tomatoes since there's a huge national panic about salmonella from tomato's now . But we abl to load up on celery and cucumbers . Along with some huge radishes and homemade apple cider. As a onetime country girl it's easy & in it's own dorky way to spot the farmers . There nowhere as stylish as the city folks , usually in old clothes or overalls since you really don't dress up working the fields. Did notice one of the teen -age sons of one farmer who was dressed totally hip hop complete with bling bling bling . That was funny , what wud a farm kid know about life in the inner city ? Also saw a girl about 15 who reminded me of myself at that age , had so much make-up on she must have used a trowel to put it on and was trying to pass herself of as being very sexy and cool . After seeing her moi is once again glad she's not 15 anymore................

To help with the hangover moi opened up Farmer Browns cider and started to drink and it was GOOD and medicinal . Karin's middle class and especially more lady like , she could never imagine let alone actually open up a jar of cider and start drinking from it . But happy to see moi isn't that rigid , a positive result of growing up white trash We both got angry when the radio news aid one of McCain's big aides said another 9/11 type terrorist attack wud be good for McCain's campaign .................disgusting ! That man should be whipped too. ! Two professors and some of the army guys who come in the bar who come in have said israel the israel lobby loved 9/1 to since it wud draw America closest to israel and against the arabs . Scum ! Also Nasty nasty nasty .

Went by the huge mega bookstore where Karin got some cooking books . Moi sat in the cafe having coffee to help with the hangover and lack of energy .The man next to me was reading some smart person's magazine called ATLANTIC MONTHLY that had on the cover IS GOOGLE MAKING US STOOPID ? Even in GOOGLE colors too. Looked interesting , especially after locking over the second or third time & seeing how they spelled STUPID wrong . If anyone should have caught that right off it's me since I have been called stupid all my life. Hope one of you readers picks it up and posts what the writer was saying . I'm to cheap to buy the magazine and probably too stoopid to understand it ...................

By 4 or 5 PM I was feeling better , like a full member of the human race . We met our friend Celeste for dinner which was a bit of a downer . She's trying to get pregnant but not having much luck with men . Hey join the club................it's the story of my life once the relationship goes from friendship or sport f*cking to trying to be a couple !!!! After dating one guy for 9 weeks she's still not preggers and the other man she was sleeping with for about the same time scared the life out of her saying how he wants to be a father some day and have fun doing anything /everything with his kids. Thats great if you have staying together or even getting married in mind but Celeste wasts a kid all for herself with out the complications of a daddy .Karin was more militant about it but we both thought that's the wrong attitude can understand Ceslete's not wanting to have a father around since she can't relate or trust one .Like in my case her dad was a complete puke , running out on Celeste and her mom days after her mom had ( or ' dropped' in hillbilly /redneck /southern black ) her baby sister . Moi too is proud to say she only had 3 drinks with dinner keeping a eye on my alcohol intake so not to get another hideous hangover.

Nothing big today , mostly cleaning the crib as my neatness freak gf insists on . . Already have our laundry going now and get to do the fun filled task( ) of scrubbing down the cats litter boxes. Then have to help mop and wax the floors . After that a shower and lunch . Today in a periwinkle polo shirt cranberry bikini briefs , & jean short shorts . Tonite at the country club there uniform of the white blouse, Kelly green jumper dress, nude garter stockings , and brown flats .

[Lena]

Morning in our now very clean condo.The floors are so clean you could eat off them but I have no plans to do that .More on cleaning ahead .


Woke up to some bad news this morning . Starting with 3 American soldiers getting killed in Iraq .The loss of any one over there is tragic.Especially since it's a war we didn't have to fight and have already lost . The soldiers and there family deserved better . And here in Kentucky a crazy man went on a shooting rampage at work over to Henderson which is only 2 hours from here killing 5 people . In America you have to take a test to drive a car but anyone over 18 can go to the store and walk away with a gun which lets tragedy's like this happen so easy .


But like I said more about cleaning .We worked very hard ( moi was actually on her knees scrubbing ) most of the day cleaning everything from the floors and bathroom to even walls . Along with that doing 4 loads of wash too. The place looks and smells great , many people I have known wud have a real hard time believing moi lived here since just like school, paying bills, and sobriety cleanliness and neatness have never been my thing . .


The credit for all this goes to my gf who is a cleanliness and neatness fanatic and generally all around responsible person . It all comes to her naturally since her mom has to be the biggest cleanliness and neatness fanatic on the planet . She's been known to even vacuum rocks outside next to the backdoor of her house. Moi however came up under totally different conditions .My mother was as domestic as a cement block never cooking or cleaning ( except when she was married to the soldier who insisted on spotlessness and hot food ) all the time I was at home .At her house you can count on finding several ashtrays overflowing with cigarette butts and maybe 2-3 overstuffed garbage bags in the kitchen waiting for somebody to take them out to the street . I won't even mention anything about how the toilets only get cleaned every other millennium ...............


To the often anger and disgust of any housemates or SO's I was no better on my own . Once a catsup bottle broke in winter with the catsup freezing and I didn't get aroud to cleaning it up till spring when the catsup melted . the only reason then was since I was scared/disgusted by these huge black cockroaches that came out to eat the catsup .Also instead of using the dresser or closet wud leave clothes all over the furniture . Recall once manically looking for my best blouse only to accidentally find it among the loose change , bread crumbs , and ants inside the couch ...........Sometimes it got strange and wild , once saw a friend of my bf taking a pair of my undies off the closet door proceeding to smell them .



Our completely different approach to cleanliness and neatness cane to the surface early on in our relationship . But wanting so much to keep her moi promised to try to live up to Karin's' standards . I also agreed at the same time to stop smoking , chipping , and working topless at private partys run by this gambler . Of all those thngs ( even as rough as quitting smoking was ) it's been trying to be clean and neat thats taken the most effort . But as I said anything to stay together so I try . I've tryed to get as obsessive about cleanliness and neatness as I can be about NOT spending money but just couldn't work up the same level of fanaticism . I guess I will always be a recovering slob fighting a daily battle not to be a pig ............. .


Karin knows she can get a little too intense about being clean and neat . She laffs when I complain how her standards are way to high saying thats what both her ex husband and former gf also said . I have never met up with either and wud probably hate them if we ever did meet but then and there some how felt a bond with both people . In our present system I do the slug work like scrubbing the floors and then waxing them . While she does the more sensitive stuff like clean the bathrooms and kitchens . Thats OK with me since if I did either we'd fight since her standards are sooooooooooooooooooooo much higher then moi's . I also have a phobia about cleaning bathrooms coming from the time when during the week-end I spent in the jailhouse for drunk driving they made me scrub out ALL the toilets in the women's section and office area

But happy to say I am getting better at it and it's helping in my journey to being a real/complete responsible human being . Am best at neatens , pick up after myself not leaving cups and dishes around after I use them . Also no more blouses in the couch , jeans on the floor, and stockings piled on door knobs . Even wipe down the kitchen counter every day . In the end it helps keeps peace at home and makes me feel more in control however small a part of it of my life.Although if I ever get rich am definitely going to get a full time maid ..............

Not much else happened yesterday . After finishing cleaning we went to the coffee boutique for a over priced lunch .The prices were always high there and now think like gas stations there hiking them up even more to gouge us . The new manager who I've already had trouble with came by to tell me/warn me next time to come in wearing shoes or else I won't be served . Asshole .Worked at the country club which went fine enough . Every one was eating lite and even though there all rich they all seemed to be complaining about the insane gas prices here . It must cost them at least $ 100 to fill up there huge upper end SUV's and Volvo's & BMW's . Will be there both monday and tuesday next week subbing for Carlene in the bar since she's going out to see Mount Rushmore .

Should rain here later . Heading out in a pink tank top , white Thong , and white mini and bringing along a umbrella .At work tonite the penguin suit and orthies & nude knee highs .

[Lena]

A interesting morning , very atmospheric .The sky is black with rain about burst down from the clouds . com bind with he old buildings I can see from our window it is in it's own way soooo f*cking beautiful . :D This kind of weather automatically gets me wanting to get more out of life. Like watching the tv news to know whats going on or do some deep thinking or grab someone/anyone for intense & creative sex . :D No luck with the last thing , Karin's sleeping and don't see any army guys outside jogging .................. :lol:

For now ( until I undoubtedly pleasure myself later :D ) moi will have to be content with being here at home which after the other days mega-cleaning looks and smells fantastic :D . Am I the new Little Miss Tidy ? :lol: I doubt it but do love a freshly cleaned home . 8) The coffee is good and the varmints are being funny . Agatha is in the front window intensely studying everything outside .Sometimes she gets so into hawking she tires herself out and spends more time then usual sleeping on back of the couch . Fritz on the other hand is playing a fanatic game of soccer with a piece of tin foil Karin rolled into a little ball. Do believe Fritz thinks he could play in the World Cup soccer series ............. :lol:

Yesterday was fine , moi is always happy just to get thru a day without trouble with any kind of enjoyment being a added plus . It doesn't take much to make me happy , if you ever met most of the men and some of the women I've been involved with you'd know just how true that statement is . :lol: The big fun was for the second day in a row going barefoot which always makes me feel free and going to the coffee boutique .The dickhead manger who told me he wudn't serve me if I came in barefoot again was there but didn't notice. He was probably distracted by being such a self absorbed jerk ............. :wink: After that went to work and to placate Capt'n Tom the head of security did put my Dr.Scholls on before going in . He was right there at the employee entrance and as always nice . Never thought wud actually like and be at least a work place friend of a cop , he spent over 30 years with the state police .Including working with the REVENUERS and DEA back in the hills going after hillbillys for moonshineing and growing pot :lol: . My buddy Barb was there too looking very happy now that she's a married women . She even has a glow about her, is there a bun in the oven ?

In my trusty penguin suit went to the bar . Rafael was working it and had some news . More customer complaints about weird Norm who is the lazyest and slowest bartender on the planet .No surprise to me ! The latest being how he royally annoyed the MOD by not moving some boxes of stock since he said it's not in his job description and then was babbling on to a group of suits in the bar about some new age theory that if you go around the sun you can go back in time ...................... :roll: Also the really (((SHOCKING ))) news cocktail waitress Narla likes girls !!!!! The other nite when working the bar with Rafael her gf popped in and they shared a long passionate kiss in the corner . Rafael just laffed and shook his head , this is all new to him coming from conservative & homophobic Mexico . He's pretty good though , no anger or lectures about how wrong lesbianism is . I think seeing it as just a part of living up north with us gringos and gringettes , he's known about me for years and we get along real well . .Senor Rafael was also pretty proud that his oldest daughter whose 19 an a sophomore in college here just got into air force ROTC :D . They'll be paying for her nursing education and she comes out a officer . Talk about the American dream ! 20 years ago mom and dad sneak in and now she's going to be a college graduate and officer . :D Now if only native born American moi could get so lucky ................. :P

The bar was pretty steady most of the nite keeping me and cocktail waitress Maureen busy . Had a group of men who ere in some dorky club called the ELKS in . One was a guest from up north while the others were locals .I heard everything you'd ever want to know and then some more about the ELKS :roll: .Also almost back to back had 2 guys who looked like they were cut from the same cookie cutter or were brothers . At 8:30 PM so a tall thin and muscular white guy about 35 comes in whose also bald in a lite grey double breasted suit and black T shirt . Then right after he left at about 9:15 PM this black guy whose also tall and muscular and the same age in the same exact clothes came in ................. :lol:

As soon as the rain hits am heading out for a run , should be wonderful .Am wondering to wear a white T shirt since when it gets wet I will automatically have a see thru blouse and can expose myself legally ( believe it or not I have done that before :o :lol: ) or a dark T shirt in case a get one of those rarer then rare attacks of maturity and modesty ............ :lol: I won't be in the bar till late tonite , am first doing a the Concierge Lounge then a huge private party in the Grande Ballroom .Taking over the bar at about 9 PM .


Leave today in my tan army style shirt dress and at work the black cocktail waitress dres, nude garter stockings and black flats .

[Lena]

Had a wild time at work last nite , could have gotten hurt or killed by a guest who was going insane .

Have tryed writing about it but am having trouble , think I have a case of delayed stress. I was too busy trying to stop that jerk from attacking me and these old people that I didn't have time to be scared .Had trouble sleeping last nite this morning feel nervous & anxious about the whole thing ............

I should be allright , have had a few wild times in life and at work always being able to calm down .

Good thing I see my analyst today ................heading out in white T shirt and black lycra shorts with white socks and sneakers .At work the black cocktail waitress dress, nude garter stockings , and black flats .

[Guest]

Feeling better ........ a little psycho therapy can work wonders had a huge crisis at work last nite that came to bring back not so much bad memorys but bad feelings . I woke up in the middle of the nite after a nightmare then couldn't get back to sleep . After I did get to sleep just before fits lite woke up ansy + and not able to concentrate .But the wonderful Naomi put it all into perspective and I'm getting back to normal or as normal as abnormal moi can be ..............

Lets see where do I began but not end up writing somethings as long as a a encyclopedia ................. Am no stranger to violence having grown up with it both at home and coming up in the slums here. It was just a part of life you had to deal with . I learned early on the first rule is survival and then avoiding trouble . It's a lesson thats paid off over the years too . But then again being around trouble can get to me since it brings back so many horrible feelings going back to a assaulting father and even mother along with all sorts of violence I 've scene .

Things went crazy in the Concierge Lounge yesterday .I could have gotten hurt or killed , this was the third time at work when like that happened . The first as when a very drunk customer threw a hot glass right at my face then tried crawling over the bar to attack me and the other was when I got in the middle of a horrible domestic between a complete asshole bellman and his psycho gf who was a manager . You wudn't think it wud in a classy hotel that gets business travelers and government people but the world is so insane it does every so often .

The shift began nice enough , wore the black cocktail waitress dress which always makes me feel sexxy & sophisticated . Also since the place was dead was able to go into the tiny kitchen of the Concierge Lounge and m'bate and had a few drinks which some could say was drinking on the job but to me it's just 'quality control '............and a much needed bounce .But trouble came when one middle aged guest who looked like a fat John Malkovich suddenly blew up . He hadn't even ben drinking . For the next 5 minutes or so he ran around the lounge screaming about killing someone and things like throwing glasses and bottles of beer & wine against the wall ( was terrified he'd hit moi or the huge plasma tv ) and kicking chairs and turning over tables over . Right away called security ...............

But things got even wilder when the man started bothering this 70 something couple shoving his laptop in there faces . Showing them how some body had sent a e-mail to his boss saying how he's unstable 9 nolie there ) and should be fired .Even insisted the old man read it but then afetr the man did the fol started accusing him of agreingw ith it then being beghind it . Soem midle aged suits came in so the fool thenstaretd accusing them of being against them , they quicklyleft . By now the elderly lady was so scared her face was twitching and she was weeping . Although no coard moi got betwenthem and asked him to tel me about the annoying e-mail . he happily wnet onshwoing me the mesage onthe laptop from his boss about it . I tryed to act sympathetic rto calm him down and alsoa void being strangeld or beaten to death .that asshole wenton an on foregting about the old people , I told them they should leave to try the 50% dinner and they got the hint and left very fast .
Although older thenthe hils they movd prety fast too...........

The manthough lost interest intlking to me and went back to kicking chairs and shoved about althe fod off the buffet table . Iw as waiting for him to turn his back so i could run too. Liek i wrote a a colssal cowrd . But before i could Barb abnd old charlei from security shwoed up . I loved seing them but wa scared since I ahve the suspicon Barb is preggers and old Charlei s about 65-70 himself . They went right past me asking the troubel amker what the problem was and he lashed into them . Even told old Charlei waho was a police for soemthing like 40 eyrs he'd kill him .As he went on wolfinga nd going so far as to pick up a champagne botle to use asa club Charlie pulled out his snub nose revolver like the kind yous ee in old cop movies and seeing that the man simply fainted with fear .............. Charlei caled him a 'jag-off' which sems to be a big insult by geezers and since he hads a hge belly and can't bend over it was Barb who leaned over and handcuffed the man .

The cops and fireman soon arrived . We were out in the hall and didn't see what went on but the paramedics used smelling salts and the mother grabber with the big mouth woke up then started fighting the 3 police .You heard yelling and shoving , then silence .Soon after they rolled the now again unconscious guy out a gurney with the cops and paramedics all chuckling .....................

Agfter that spent almost 9 minutes teling wat happeend to the cops , along with my boss , capt'n Tom whose ehad of security and the egnrla manger who alcame in to se what happened .The odler couple who he had bothered got sick , the ma had chest apins and a mbulance had to come egt him and the por lady was trembling real bad so the MOD tok her tot hesame e-room .Old Charleiw s theman of the hur though , the hotel wudn't want a security shootingaguest butthat man was a lunatic . allthe bosses cngratulated old Charlie ans did the cops there.Turns out Cahrlei used to work with one sergents grandaddy onthe police force years ago ...........charleiw as rety col about it all,but you could tel the old boy loved being so useful and macho .

According to Capt'n Tom today Mr.Prick made bail this morning but another police department had a warrant out on him for drunk driving and we're coming to get him . But being a stone cold fool the guy tryed leaving only to get another attitude adjustment from the copsand tosssed back into a cage The seniors are fine , got comped and also several hundred dollars worth of fre stays at the companys propertys .

All the bosses were complimenting me too , saying I saved the old people which I really hadn't .Capt'n Tom says I can come work security anytime , told him I'll consider next year when my felony conviction for drunk driving gets tossed out . Still will take the credit, am also geting a $100 bonus .

Still it got to me after I got home .I woke up dreaming the man was in our living room having a tantrum complete with the old people and our 70 something neighbor Marie there too. Then it shifted to me being a kid back seeing my parents shout then jump on each other each yelling they'd kill the other .............kept me up for awhile . After geting aack to sleep woke up very ansy and not able to focus . Coldn't concentrate enough to post here and also put salt instead of sugar in my coffee . Was happy I had a scheduled appointment with my analyst .

[Lena]

Feeling better ........ a little psycho therapy can work wonders had a huge crisis at work last nite that came to bring back not so much bad memorys but bad feelings . I woke up in the middle of the nite after a nightmare then couldn't get back to sleep . After I did get to sleep just before fits lite woke up ansy + and not able to concentrate .But the wonderful Naomi put it all into perspective and I'm getting back to normal or as normal as abnormal moi can be ..............

Lets see where do I began but not end up writing somethings as long as a a encyclopedia ................. Am no stranger to violence having grown up with it both at home and coming up in the slums here. It was just a part of life you had to deal with . I learned early on the first rule is survival and then avoiding trouble . It's a lesson thats paid off over the years too . But then again being around trouble can get to me since it brings back so many horrible feelings going back to a assaulting father and even mother along with all sorts of violence I 've scene .

Things went crazy in the Concierge Lounge yesterday .I could have gotten hurt or killed , this was the third time at work when like that happened . The first as when a very drunk customer threw a hot glass right at my face then tried crawling over the bar to attack me and the other was when I got in the middle of a horrible domestic between a complete asshole bellman and his psycho gf who was a manager . You wudn't think it wud in a classy hotel that gets business travelers and government people but the world is so insane it does every so often .

The shift began nice enough , wore the black cocktail waitress dress which always makes me feel sexxy & sophisticated . Also since the place was dead was able to go into the tiny kitchen of the Concierge Lounge and m'bate and had a few drinks which some could say was drinking on the job but to me it's just 'quality control '............and a much needed bounce .But trouble came when one middle aged guest who looked like a fat John Malkovich suddenly blew up . He hadn't even ben drinking . For the next 5 minutes or so he ran around the lounge screaming about killing someone and things like throwing glasses and bottles of beer & wine against the wall ( was terrified he'd hit moi or the huge plasma tv ) and kicking chairs and turning over tables over . Right away called security ...............

But things got even wilder when the man started bothering this 70 something couple shoving his laptop in there faces . Showing them how some body had sent a e-mail to his boss saying how he's unstable ( no lie there ) and should be fired .Even insisted the old man read it but then after the man did the fol started accusing him of agreeing with it then being behind it . Some middle aged suits came in so the fool then started accusing them of being against them , they quickly left . By now the elderly lady was so scared her face was twitching and she was weeping . Although am a huge coward moi got between them and asked him to tell me about the annoying e-mail . He happily went on showing me the message on the laptop from his boss about it . I tryed to act sympathetic to calm him down and also avoid being strangled or beaten to death .That asshole went on an on forgetting about the old people , I told them they should leave to try the 50% dinner and they got the hint and left very fast .Although older then the hills they moved pretty fast too...........

The man though lost interest in talking to me and went back to kicking chairs and shoved about all the food off the buffet table . I was waiting for him to turn his back so I could run too. Like I wrote a a colossal coward . But before i could Barb and old Charlie from security showed up . I loved seeing them but was scared since I have the suspicion Barb is preggers and old Charlie is about 65-70 himself . They went right past me asking the troublemaker what the problem was and he lashed into them . Even told old Charlie who was a police for something like 40 years he'd kill him .As he went on wolfing and going so far as to pick up a champagne bottle to use as a club Charlie pulled out his snub nose revolver like the kind yous see in old cop movies and seeing that the man simply fainted with fear .............. Charlie called him a 'jag-off' which seems to be a big insult by geezers and since he has a huge belly and can't bend down too good it was Barb who leaned over and handcuffed the man .

The cops and fireman soon arrived . We were out in the hall and didn't see what went on but the paramedics used smelling salts and the mother grabber with the big mouth woke up then started fighting the 3 police .You heard yelling and shoving , then silence .Soon after they rolled the now again unconscious guy out a gurney with the cops and paramedics all chuckling .....................

After that spent almost 90 minutes telling what happened to the cops , along with my boss , Capt'n Tom whose head of security and the general manger who all came in to see what happened .The older couple who he had bothered got sick , the man had chest pains and ambulance had to come get him and the poor lady was trembling real bad so the MOD took her to the same e-room .Old Charlie was the man of the hour though , the hotel wudn't want a security shooting a guest but that man was a lunatic and could have hurt or killed somebody . All the bosses congratulated old Charlie as did the cops there.Turns out Charlie used to work with one sergeant's grandaddy on the police force years ago ...........Charlie was pretty cool about it all,but you could tell the old boy loved being so useful and macho .

According to Capt'n Tom today Mr.Prick made bail this morning but another police department had a warrant out on him for drunk driving and we're coming to get him . But being a stone cold fool the guy tryed leaving only to get another attitude adjustment from the cops and tossed back into a cage The seniors are fine , got comped and also several hundred dollars worth of free stays at the companys properties .

All the bosses were complimenting me too , saying I saved the old people which I really hadn't .Capt'n Tom says I can come work security anytime , told him I'll consider next year when my felony conviction for drunk driving gets tossed out . Still will take the credit, am also getting a $100 bonus .

Still it got to me after I got home .I woke up dreaming the man was in our living room having a tantrum complete with the old people and our 70 something neighbor Marie there too. Then it shifted to me being a kid back seeing my parents shout then jump on each other each yelling they'd kill the other .............kept me up for awhile . After getting back to sleep woke up very agitated and not able to focus .The whole feeling of fear and dread that went back to my childhood was back and taking over Couldn't concentrate enough to post here and also put salt instead of sugar in my coffee . Was happy I had a scheduled appointment with my analyst .

Naomi got to the issue right away . Really was post traumatic stress disorder .Your too focused on dealing with danger when its happening so the psych stuff hits later . BUT she narrowed me down as she always does about how I reacted pointing out how I knew this wasn't my fault and how I had done all the right things .Including being brave getting between that psycho and the old people . Not really . just being nice but all compliments are welcome & very very much appreciated . After talking bout all that with her I left feeling pretty good . Am tired from not much sleep but actually feel proud of myself for making it thru ....................... Will probably be able to make it thru the next one better but TBH hope there is no next one ................

BTW as far as I know the assholes stuff is still at the hotel although after we soaked the latop that had the message that set him of in water don't think it'll do him much good.................

Work the Conciegre Lounge again tonite then the bar .

[Lena]

Saturday morning and my first actual saturday off since I don't know when ................

Later this afternoon we go to the wedding with Scott and Todd being part actually the key part of there game to come of as straight The wedding is at 4PM with the reception starting at 6 PM whats probably the best country club in town .

Work went fine last nite . No crazy fools running around talking about killing people and waving champagne bottles like it was club . Hardly anyone even knew about it too, the hotel is a pretty lively place with things always happening so yesterday's news is usually yesterdays news. Got a thumbs up from my friend Bob in security for what I did , Derrick to whose one of my imaginary fathers came in to the bar asking if I was alright . What a wonderful man ! My fellow bartender Cassady had the strangest /funniest reaction but with her you couldn't expect otherwise. In the locker room she asked me all about it almost getting short of breath she was so worked up/nervous .Cassady who is as nervous as a cat normally said when she heard how I had a maniac running around she started to hyperventilate worrying that could happen to her . She told me all she could think about was how dangerous it wud be and what wud ever happened to her !!! no sympathy for me , no " I am so happy you didn't get hurt " but all about "What if that happened to me ? " attitude I bet if that lunatic had killed me at my funeral Cassady wud have been standing there weeping but not over my violent death but the chance it could have happened to her ............... :lol I hugged her saying thanx for all the concern ..................she didn't get it . soon after saw her staring at me in a strange way when she saw me slip the cocktail waitress on with no undies underneath , in a pompous/shocked way she declared to me "I could never go to work without underwear !! " Good for her

Why wasn't I wearing undies ? For a added boost , like drinking , flirting , and wearing the black cocktail waitress dress .It's just one of those little things that can make me feel special and give me some ooomph needed for work .

The shift was easy .......did the Concierge Lounge again with no problems . Then the bar . Lucky me got to see my favorite customer Mr . Dyson who was in about 10PM in a tuxedo no less. He didn't say much , never really does. Had 2 bourbon & waters then left . No one else interesting . When I left even got a nice word from Arnold Haynes the smart ass security on midnites .He always tries to be funny being sarcastic and more then once I've told him to just f*ck off . But he can be nice and last nite said he had we had some trouble but when he saw my name on the report knew I was going to be able to handle it . Nice too see , who knows seeing that there's hope FRED75 her says something intelligent .


Get my haircut at noon . Have been going a little crazy about what to wear . You never seem to have the right outfit for these fancy things . Even went to TALBOTS and bought a outfit that now I don't know if I am going to wear . Once worked a Japanesse wedding where one woman showed up in a Kimono so if she could do that why can't moi wear a hillbilly native costume like a halter top and old cut-offs Can't wear my black cocktail dress since it wud show the huge tattoo on my left shoulder which really not fit at the wedding of the daughter of a multi millionaire............ For now it'll be either a pink with white piping double breasted jacket and knee length black skirt or Karin's navy blue with white polka dots and a white bolero jacket . Underneath though flesh tone bikini briefs and garter belt along with nude stockings .

Wish me luck , I am scared of opening my mouth and saying something dumb . My still thick as tar accent making it all sound stupider too..............

[Lena]

Moi really packed alot into this week-end, call it living life to the fullest or just cramming alot in to a few days (  and getting exhausted as a result ) but we were very very  busy .    My whole body aches and am for some reason sneezing a lot but it was still a great time . They say your born and you die with not much happening in between but this week-end was the definite exception . In about 24 hours saturday-sunday manged to go on a dream date with rich Doctors (  although since both are gay and we didn't round the nite off with sex  ) , had a great time at the rich people wedding they took us too ( I should have been born rich or at least landed a sugar daddy    ) had some fantastic cocaine driven sex  back at home at home ,and worked 8 hours including in the rain at my pt job the  next day .................


The wedding was really something special .I ended up wearing a pink double breasted coat with white piping and a black A-line skirt . Karin wore her Vera Wang dress, sleeveless with a floral print .This one was about the fanciest wedding I have ever scene  too, will write about it this week in the regular blog area . They had 300 some guests , must have cost at least  $ 50,000 . Personally I wud have taken the money and eloped but thats not how rich people  do things and these folks  had money to burn . Todd and Scott were great dates and we had alot of fun .Talked and danced away , at one point after the dinner and during the party I was even sitting on Scott's lap as if we were a hetro couple  . Just my luck I get asked out by a man whose gorgeous and rich but he's gay . Karin and Todd got complemented about what  good couple they were on the dance floor too  .  Unless they knew Scott and Todd were gay bet we fooled most we were all straight people on a double date and who knows maybe headed for the alter ourselves .................. Maybe in another time when I heard since prejudice was so bad gay men  and women got married to each other  escape trouble but lived separate lives .Wudn't have been bad for us ,  that way we could have had there money but still been a couple  ourselves . 


We all had a great time at the reception . In Todd's  sexy black   JAGUAR  car after the guys were very  complimentary thanking us for going with them . They even went so far as s to offer to repay us with a woman from a famous local escort agency known for providing beautiful land intelligent female escorts who for the right price more then go to function with there clients . Karin blushed while I thought it was a interesting idea....................she's never been with a hooker before and it was not just new but shocking .Moi has prior experience, have written here as a b'day present for my ex Rusty had a threesome with a local coyote when we were in Acapulco . Really as deliciously kinky , have to hand it to Rusty's perverted penis person brain for thinking of that .  But we decided to pass , Karin can have trouble with new things and TBH after my session with Monica in the bathroom at TINKS don't want to put any more pressure on our relationship .


So we decided on the alternative, a bag of this magic white powder from south America that never fails to make you happy .................... Like "CHEERS"  with drinking had makeshift toast of all going 'TOOT TOOT " when we snorted  ................. It was all so much fun we decided to stick together and went to a male gay bar down in the TRIANGLE  .That place was packed , a few women but as you'd expect mostly men  busy partying away like crazy . Everyone was  just having such a good time talking , drinking &  dancing Friendly too, you automatically  got sucked right in to the good times .  We saw some guys we knew and also Margo Montgomery who while straight is a huge fag hag . Although she is gorgeous looking something like CLAIRE DANES as long as I have known Margo she really hasn't been interested in straight guys for anything but sex and you 'd think lives to hang around gay guys . She was friendly enough but soon  was back all caught up ( or maybe seeming to be all caught up   ) in a big talk with three very femme  guys  .


Todd and Scott naturally saw more people knew but happy to say they didn't ditch us which was super great of them . We really were a group of good friends out for a nite together .  We all drank and talked and danced , me and Todd then me and Scott and also me and Karin  getting noticed even cheered by from some off the guys out on the dance floor .Two women dancing and  kissing on the dance floor of men's gay bar is not really something you see every day  now .  And queers can get as surprised as anyone else..............


Although with the dancing we had other fun . Like all having a round of cognac ( they paid, moi could not afford to be a alcoholic if I only drank REMY MARTIN ) with our arms interlocked . At one point some guys were looking at us annoyed like we were straight people invading there space.Karin was as creeped out while Todd and Scott were getting angry . So moi came up with the idea of the Karin and I kissing the guys which had the bigots looking upset then to add confusion we all made out with our on same sex partners . The warheads soon disappeared not able to make hide nor hair of who/what we were .................. Pretty common at male gay bars here especially on hot summer nites like saturday was to see guys at gay bars with no shirts on and there were plenty that nite . Both Karin and I laffed about that , staying it was sexist that men can go topless at gay bars but women can't at girl bars . . I made a self deprecating joke after that how maybe in my case it's not so bad since I am mammary challenged ( or as uncle Radney used to say I am a carpenter's dream being flat as a board and easy to nail ) and even if I was topless nobody wud notice . But being friends and perfect gentlemen Scott and Todd told me how I really wasn't all that flat and not to tear myself down .


That was real good of them , a lie for sure about not being a board but still nice. I didn't want to get depressed so stuck with the fun mood and told them I could prove it and right then and there took of my coat and cami ending up totally topless. They were a little shocked but laffing away , in fact Todd spit up his white wine spritzer .Karin who knows I can get that way only laffed while shaking her head . No one around us seemed to notice me though which to me was proof but to drive home the point got up and walked around even going to the bar for another drink . Coming back though one guy who was dancing noticed and started pointing at me . That made me proud and had Karina and the guys all going " See I told you so " about people noticing me . I was laffing too and it all got better when the manager came up and told me straight up I had to put on my top or leave . I smiled and got back dressed ...............the manager was happy while Karin and the guys were laffing way saying " See we were right !! " The manger and the gay man who noticed I was indeed a female and topless will always be having warm spots in my heart .


Todd & Scott dropped us off at about 4AM and w were still pretty wide awake and in a partying mood. Maybe it was some more of that magic white powder from south America ? Don't know for sure but decided to have some more back home . We were both very awake and excited , son we were having sex before even getting out clothes off and into bed . First on the living room couch with us transferring to the floor then eventually to the bedroom although neither one of us remembers how we got there . . When I woke up found Karin's new VERA WANG dress on the couch and her necklace was under the kitchen table ( had to have been the cats playing with it ) and while she was naked moi was still in her garter belt with only one badly run stockings . The pink coat I had been wearing was also even under one of the pillows ...............

While Karin got to sleep I on 4 hours sleep had to get up and go to work at my pt job . Fed the cats , picked up Karin's pricey dress on the floor ( she wud have gone postal had she found it there ) , took a quick shower and was out the door in a white T shirt and jean short shorts . I thought I wud be bar tending /waitressing in the dining hall the whole shift but during the second hour was sent out with a Mexican and a porta bar to bar tend at the 18 th hole for these guys in a famous grudge match that was still good humored . There were 4 players and maybe 30 spectators that had followed them across the whole course with all being very thirtsy at the end . My T shirt and jean short shorts wud have been the perfect uniform but the country club is so traditional I still had to wear the uniform of the white long sleeve blouse and Kelly green jumper dress. Not too comfy but still not torture like when I had to wear it the other week parking cars in the blazing sun & heat .It didn't turn out to bad and got to be fun . Was able to set up in the glorious shade under a row of huge oak trees that line the rim of the golf course and take my shoes off . They even told me to have drink which I happily did . The guys left a generous tip for me and Paco

 By the time I got home  last nite was pretty tired . All I could do was kiss my gf then climb into bed . However the little vixen was very horny and as I was pulling up the sheet there she stood naked with Mr. Strap-on man sticking out in front of her ................. Somehow moi manged to work up the energy to throw myself into lovemaking , must admit was helepd by some of that magic white powder from south America. .By the time we finished she had f*cked me with it and I'd f*cked her as well. Like they always say " Whats good for the goose is good for the gander and one woman's passion is also another woman's passion "......................

Have to run errands today then go into work 3PM -11PM at the county club subbing for the vacationing Carlene in the bar . In a black razor back top and jean skirt . Once there the white blouse and Kelly green jumper dress. Also brown flats I have to shine after getting dirty from being on the green yesterday and the same nude garter stockings that were left with black and green feet from me standing in the wet grass at the 18th hole ................

[Lena]

My goodness , see this thread is pushing 110,000 hits ! Who wud have ever thought so many people wud want to read the post of a dyslexic and alcoholic dullard like moi ? But must confess do my best here to be interesting and do this on line diary in as interesting a way as possible .

I woke up still tired but feeling pretty good this morning . Karin was still sleeping and gorgeous , it 's funny what different reactions I get when looking at sleeping lover. With guys it's always been a sleeping guy/inactive penis person resting between doing something nice for me ( spending money on me and /or more sex ) while with other women seeing them asleep can be very sensual and often has me feeling warm inside . She's still sleeping .


When I came out of the bedroom the cats were up and real eager to be fed . But looking out the window saw how the town is so quiet . so moi grabbed a cup of coffee and in her robe went out to drink it on the front steps .It felt wonderful out there, everything was so peaceful and fresh . Even though there's a busy street 2 blocks away it was very quiet , except for the occasional car the only sounds were the birds chirping . It almost felt like looking at calm lake early in the morning I felt very renewed and relaxed . Give it a try where you you stay .................

Moi wants to keep this peaceful feeling going as long as possible . Don't even have the tv news on . I'd rather think about how nice it is outside along with how beautiful Karin looks sleeping and other things I love then have to hear about the cold cruel world . For now will be savoring the good things and sad to say will have the rest of the day to deal with nasty stuff like work and hearing about that old dictator in Zimbabwe along with the falling economy here and the disaster in Iraq.

Worked at the country club last nite in the bar which being a monday was slow but still steady . Had one divorced middle aged man in who after a few vermouth's started talking away about everything . Like where he went to school ( DUKE and for business school Harva