MEAN HOROSCOPES

Horoscopes

Moderator: Silent One

User avatar
IVORY
Newbie
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 8:50 pm
Location: N49°18.1013' W122°57.5639'

MEAN HOROSCOPES

Postby IVORY on Sat Sep 10, 2005 11:45 pm

It's all fun. Don't take it to heart.

Here goes:

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

Pieces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - Apr 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

Taurus (Apr 23 - May 22) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap b*****. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a crap. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and annot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your S***-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while doing it. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of crap.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickencrap. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.
It takes a plastic container 50,000 years to start decomposing.

Please recycle!

Guest
 

Postby Guest on Mon Oct 17, 2005 4:31 am

you have some serious issues biatch, i bet your very very single and hate yourself too

please hang yourself and take some pictures for us!

User avatar
IVORY
Newbie
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 8:50 pm
Location: N49°18.1013' W122°57.5639'

Postby IVORY on Mon Oct 17, 2005 7:31 am

. wrote:you have some serious issues biatch, i bet your very very single and hate yourself too

please hang yourself and take some pictures for us!



You're such a loser. :lol:

And, oh so stupid. Ever heard of Cut and Paste?

http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/76.html
It takes a plastic container 50,000 years to start decomposing.

Please recycle!

User avatar
Starfish
M'Lady
 
Posts: 2038
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:00 am

Postby Starfish on Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:12 pm

Actually mine is quite true :lol: im a picean

User avatar
rhiannonh
Newbie
 
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Oct 23, 2005 6:30 pm
Location: South Wales

Postby rhiannonh on Sun Oct 23, 2005 7:02 pm

hee hee.....cant really say its right for me (leo), though maybe some people would disagree.

Guest
 

Re: MEAN HOROSCOPES

Postby Guest on Fri Apr 07, 2006 9:28 pm

IVORY wrote:
Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickencrap. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.


I agree!

Cant think of many important Capricorns, there was some bloke called Jesus Christ dob 25th dec 0AD, you probably never heard of him.

Elvis Presley, nah, dunno who he is, but im told he's Capricorn too

:wink: [/b]

User avatar
sweet_girl
Getting in the Groove
 
Posts: 235
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:29 pm

hey

Postby sweet_girl on Sat Apr 08, 2006 11:48 am

im a Aries and im no dipshit so wat star sign r u ivory?

User avatar
queenbinA
Wet behind the ears
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:01 pm

Re: MEAN HOROSCOPES

Postby queenbinA on Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:25 pm

IVORY wrote:
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
[


interesting! you have a pessimistic view on all signs even though its totally rubbish and which bitchy sign are you exactly :hand:

jornod
Wall Flower
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:40 pm

Postby jornod on Wed May 03, 2006 12:24 pm

:o im not arogant ore a theving b*****.. :cry: and im not dominant.
:( I love having a Girl bossing me around.. they alway's know what's best and they alway's have somthing to thretan with if i don't behave.. :)
So Girl Leo.. i Agree... Male Leo's are NOT bossy and we don't steal.. we just don't know what to steal.. cos we don't know what we want.

Guest
 

Postby Guest on Wed May 03, 2006 3:31 pm

you people need to get a sense of humour.

Guest
 

Postby Guest on Wed May 03, 2006 5:44 pm

its coming, its coming, its coming....................
S.... I am so drunk I couldn't see where it comes.

Upsssssssss!!! It was on IVORY's eyes. :lol:

User avatar
Now_Registered
Queen
 
Posts: 4775
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 11:53 pm

Postby Now_Registered on Thu May 04, 2006 5:36 am

This is the first time I've ventured into horoscopes, and I haven't laughed so hard in a long damn time! That was just funny!

Yes, Elvis is a Cap...January 8

User avatar
kandyxxx
Chatter
 
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:21 am
Location: bi New Zealand chick

Re: MEAN HOROSCOPES

Postby kandyxxx on Sun May 07, 2006 4:06 am

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

thats horrible :( .....lol

Guest
 

Re: MEAN HOROSCOPES

Postby Guest on Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:04 pm

Do you know anything about Christianity??? Jesus Christ was NOT born on Dec 25th-- it is merely the day they CELEBRATE his birth. The actual DATE of his birth is UNKNOWN by ANYONE... and they merely Celebrate it on Dec 25th because they do not know what other date to Celebrate. "Some scholars note that Luke's descriptions of shepherds' activities at the time of Jesus' birth suggest a spring or summer date."

:roll: get your facts straight before you just assume s***!

On another note-- I think this is Funny-- and thank you for it!!!


. wrote:
IVORY wrote:
Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickencrap. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.


I agree!

Cant think of many important Capricorns, there was some bloke called Jesus Christ dob 25th dec 0AD, you probably never heard of him.

Elvis Presley, nah, dunno who he is, but im told he's Capricorn too

:wink: [/b]

Guest
 

Postby Guest on Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:22 pm

get your facts straight before you just assume s***!


why do you keep hiting wall, leave the evil cap as where she/he belongs.

On the other hand this is not a religous form, so if he can't get his fact that the idot learn by himself.

Cant think of many important Capricorns, there was some bloke called Jesus Christ dob 25th dec 0AD, you probably never heard of him


sh*** face think that capricorn are important and turn and call Christ as some kind of bloke,.

the idot sh-*** face can make her/his mind why do you thought him history and you think that is funny!!!

Both you are an as*******

Next

Return to Horoscopes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests