I can't get over my ex-girlfriend

[Patrick16]

About a year ago, I fell in love with this girl that used to go to my high school. We were friends before that for 2 years but I never had any feelings for her. I started having feelings for her about a year ago and so did she. One thing let to another and we went out together. I use to see her everyday at school, she was in all of my classe's and we use to spend the weekends together so we were very close to each others. We went out for 8 months, and 2 weeks after prom, she broke up with me. At first I didn't really know what to say cause I was shocked and she told me she wanted a break but even the way we broke up(which was on the phone) was weird because she had asked me if I could see her this weekend and I told her that I was working. She than said that theres no point for us going out and that she wanted to break up. It's been 3 months that we broke up and she's living her life now but the thing is that I'm very in love with her and I want nothing more but to get back with her and to have another chance. She told me that she doesn't want to get back with me but that she wants to be my friend. I told her that I couldn't be her friend cause I really had strong feelings for her. There is not a day that I don't think of her and it's really hurting me because I really don't know what to do. I love her too much and I'm feeling something that I never felt before. Please if anyone has some good advice to give me go ahead because whats been going threw my head in the past months are something that I wish no one would ever feel.

[blukangarou]

hello,
i understand your pain unfortanatly, i broke up with my boyfriend of five years not very long ago, he was my best friend, im still very much in love with him, but like your ex he doesnt want any contact with me, but would like to remain friends, which is so very hard even to consider as im in love with him, its easy for friends to say "don't worry you'll get over it" "you'll find someone better" i believe they just don't understand until they've found that person, i'm not sure what advice i can give you as i'm heart broken myself, you can try a diffirent approch show her that eventhough your feelings are still strong your moving on, talk to other girls she'll catch wind of it and realise what she's lost in you, you sound like a nice guy, and i hpoe things will get eaiser for you, take care x

[Guest]

Well thank you very much, I thought of doing that and I even did a couple of times but instead she got mad at me.She wrote me an email a couple fo days ago saying that she wants us to be a part for a while because she thinks it's gonna help me forget about her but it doesn't. In a couple of weeks it was supposed to be our one year anniversary that we're together and I know that it's gonna heart me and that I'm gonna feel a lot of pain during the month of november. The worst part is that I'm trying everything I can to forget about her but it just doesn't work. Anyways thanks for talking the time of writting to help me and I hope that both you and I will find a way to get over the people we love. I surely know how you feel and I wish that the both of us will move on cause theres nothing that hurts more than loving someone that doesn't love you back. Anyways take care and thanks again

[Guest]

I'm sorry that you're experiencing so much pain. However, this pain is normal after a personal loss. You indicated that you want to forget her. That's exactly what you must do. The best advice I can give you in that regard is to break all contact with her. Don't email her; don't phone; don't drive by her home; don't go to places where you know she may go herself. By taking the aformentioned steps you will get yourself out of the denial state that you are currently in. She no longer wants to be intimate with you. You must accept it. She once love you however, and those memories will remain with her forever. You set yourself up for more emotional stress each time you try a strategy to win her back, and then it fails. After you accept the truth that she no longer feels the same as before, you may or may not experience depression but it will bring you closer to a full recovery. By remaining emotionally attached to her, you will continue to experience hell. By forgetting her, you will experience peace. But you must be willing to forget her. It won't be easy but it's necessary for your survival. If you are not eating, then force yourself to eat three meals a day. You'll begin to feel stronger, which is essential in the recovery process. I also suggest that you exercise regularly. You should also go out and socialize with others, and try to meet other women. Create a meaningful goal for yourself. But most importantly, join church groups (small groups), fellowship groups. They will certainly help you. YOU MUST BREAK ALL CONTACT WITH HER. Good Luck.

[love hurts]

u know.. the saying is true that nothing in life lasts. that is the lesson i learnd when i just went throught the EXACT same situation. Same time frame, same breakup, same feelings and love. I have never felt like this for anyone b4. we have been broken up for 3 mths now and im love sick everyday. I keep thinking about her and how beautiful our love was. how great we were together and how beautiful she was. I am trying everything from working out regularly (helps manage stress) to going out all the time and meeting lots of women. I get at least 3-4 numbers a weekend but for some reason my brain doesn't let me open up. I kinda numb and don't have any emotions left...and i still feel for her. She even has a new bf now but still i feel in love... she told me a couple weeks ago that she would like to be friends but cant right now. and i know this was my excuse to try and see her. Man do i ever feel tortured and cant get out of the same loop. The worst part is that she kept saying that i was the perfect man, like no one else she had ever met but yet she still left. I gave this girl everying i had left, really put my heart in it... she too was madly in love... then all of a sudden.... boom S*** changed and within two weeks after summer was over she ended it. I asked for closure and tried to get it but all she could say was that i was perfect and that she doesn't know why but she just feels she had to do it. Now im left wandering like a fool staring at the stars realizing that the brightest one had left my side. I know ill heal but it really hurts when u know the one for u must be forgotten. This world is f*cked

[Guest]

hey yea im going through the exact thing man just be happy u still dont go 2 the same school...yea im 15 but still i would never lie i was in love with my ex and she got a new bf and what that can do to u is so messed p she dumped me when summer was over leik i was nothing the day right before school. keep off contact with ur ex. trust me it will help. i tried keepign contact with mine and she still said she loved me and then all of a sudden boom she loves some1 else supposedly. she seriously ruined my life. we still hung out and did eveyrthign liek we used to before this guy who i know came in. like i said stay away form her even when she tries to come back. i thoguth mayeb shed take me back btu she ended up using me everymore just becuase id do nehtign for her. all this advice..its annoying i know how people sya thing sliek o dude get over her its easy when its not. ive been havign some emotional probs lately too. burning my arm with my zippo hurting myself becuase it releaves soem of the pain and just yelling at poeple because i could. just tonight i almost jumped out of my second floor window because i knew i could survive the fall. lifes horrible right now for all of the lost souls wiht broken hearts. we think weve foudn cinderella and we try to slip the shoe on, but it doesnt fit. so we try and push the shoe on. it doesnt work and we try so so hard to get it to fit. also dont try and rush into a new relationship because u might figure out your just using the person to get back at your ex and they don't mean nething to you really. well man hope u feel better.

[Guest]

Ya not feeling to good my self. I had to break up with a girl that i love so much because she is stuck on her old boyfriend. I felt we were going no where and i had to end it. Its so freakin painful but i know that after the coming weeks and months i will become a stronger person because the break will help my self-estem. I would have done anything for this girl but i couldnt say the same for her. I use to say i love you to her all the time but she never said it back which hurts. The only time she said it 2 me was today (we broke up today) She said she was to scared to say i love you...
Eaither way i had to go through months of S*** for this girl because she was so hooked on her ex of 4 years. Felt like crap knowing i love this girl and am willing to do anything for her and only her but she has to still see her ex it hurt like hell. But i know ill survive (better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all)

[Jk]

My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago, I loved her with all my heart
I'm tryn to get over her she still tells me that she love's me and that we will be together in the future, but over the past couple of days she stoped telling me that she loved me and she gets mad at me over stupid things. I've been told that the best thing to do is to stop talking to her leave her alone but it is not that easy. She has been talking to old guy friends, she know hangs up with me to talk to them. I'm very deprest I cry myself to sleep every night knowing that she does'nt want me back. So I tonight have decided to forget about her all together and if she wants me back she going to half to come crawling.

[giorgio83]

I was in a reltionship with this girl for almost 2 years. one day we were on the bed discussing how things might change cos he got a full time job then it all went wrong and she began to argue with me. we sorted it out and made love that day, after work that nite she turned sick on me we went home and had more discussions then she broke the news that she doesnt want me no more. that was it, she dropped the bomb! after all i said to get her back, it didnt work then one day she asked me come around, we made love for 2days. i didnt enjoy it cos she kept reminding me that she doesnt want me back, felt i was being used for the good sex and company! i had to end it, she told me how much she hated me and everything. i feel depressed so much i tore picture of us 2getha and sent it to her. we still kept contact but she had her eyes on someone else. after reading other posts on this forum, i have made up my mind to lose any contact with her even on msn, delete her nos even though i know it off heart. gonna try move on, i know how jealous she gets when she sees me with other girls having fun, she's was so protective over me. well such is life, my dad would say, "u have to learn to move on and take things like a man!".

[giorgio83]

http://www.retrievealover.com/yourspecialebook.pdf

you can save it to your memory or read it off your web browser. this is the solution to every break up!! God bless the author of that ebook !!! no more so
share it with everyone that needs it !!

[ty guy]

i went out with this girl melanie for almost exactly 1 and a half well years i guess, but neways, everything was fine for a while, then she broke up with me, told me she loved me (as a friend) cared about me and all this other stuff and that she wanted to be good friends. i didnt really say much bak i was pretty busy crying and wut not. but a few days after almost a week, she called me and asked me to see her at work, so i did and we ended up going to her house and did a couple things, not sex, but oral sex a bit and everything else besides sex, so i thot we got back together kinda. so days went on and i hung out with her like everyday like we used to, just as friends tho. i asked her out not to long after probly 2 in a half weeks i asked that i wanted to be with her again, and i asked her to think about it, then a couple days after that, i brought her flowers and candy and dressed up all nice in a tux and everything when she was working, and just poored my heart out to her, and once again asked her to think about it (both times she said no, not in a mean way tho), but then after that i went to her one last time and tried to talk to her about it and she said she didnt love me nemore, so i wepted and got over it, and called her a few days after saying i was really sorry that i acted weird (which i obviously was) and that i wanted to be the friends that we started out to be when we first broke up, and the only thing she said to me was is that all u wanted to say, as in thats it cuz she was in a rush to get off the phone so i dont think she wanted to talk to me but i dunno, and i said yeah and she said ok and hung up. and that was it. so i know i was a bit attached and stuff but when i tried to appologize and make things ok, it just blew up in my face i think. it seems like she doesnt want to be my friend. and i think i lost her as even more than a friend, which was kinda goin on after we broke up, it sux, but its not that i miss her for the sex, i mean i do miss that but, thats not even close at all to what i miss about her. im just not sure if i lost her as a friend too. did i?

[heartbrokeloser]

For me, i think i should tell it from the very beginning. I got a best friend that i used to went out with him can consider as everyday including with his girl friend; Jess. Then until someday his girl friend wanted to broke up with him. But as i know she already got another boy friend(older than her 10 years) that together with her almost 3 years and planning for a wedding in next year. After few weeks later suddenly she said she had a crush on me. Honestly i got the same feel on her but i kept control myself just for hoping this wouldn't affect the relationship between me and my best friend. Again after a week she begging me just to be with her and said she love me so much. Then our relationship begin on that time secretly to avoid my best friend know about us. Of course we starting to find each other for dating. Bad things happen after that, my parent know that i bring her home for a night, my best friend know about our relationship. This is horrible, my mother just beg me to leave her with crying because she is not the kind of good girl that worth to be with(My mother stay in UK and give me a call while i stay in Malaysia) but i never listen to them. Therefore, most of my friend left me and think that im the one who affect the broke of my best friend with her. Time just passingby faster than we notice, in someday i realize that she still having ANOTHER boyfriend, so i ask her what she gonna do if her boyfriend find out about our relationship. Then she just answer me "I dont know what can i do, I got no choice but to get back to the side of my boyfriend, we planning for a wedding year next" in this few words its shocked me too much and i ask her will she feel happy to marry her boyfriend and she said she will not happy to marry that guy but no choice, she keep saying that and i cant do anything on that time. So i decided to be with her whenever she feel she not love me anymore and wanted to leave me. On that time i kept remind myself dont put too much feeling on it she might just play me as a toy. But not everything is under my control especially love. No doubt, my love on her is growing with the time i be with her. Until yesterday she said we should stop our relationship once and for all also doing this for my. Before that i already feel there is something wrong about her like she not sending me a sms as usual, not calling me after work, kept saying that she tired and not free to see me. Then i just ask her why and what the reason she dont want to be with me anymore. She said this is not right and she getting marry soon. So i ask her again will she happy to leave me and happy to marry her boyfriend, she answer me no she will not happy at all. This makes me curious that if she is not happy to get marry with her boyfriend why should her still want to go on to marry with him. Then i ask whether she can still be with me much longer but she still reject me and saying that she is not suitable and it is not easy to be my girl friend. I keep asking her why hard but she never answer me and she dont want us to keep on like that. My heart is totally broke totally broke! I just wonder why? why am i not the one who know her first? why am i not worth to be her boyfriend? why she must do this to me? why? why? why? I am totally hopeless now. Just wanna know do i had a chance to win her back ? Hope someone can answer me...

[heartbrokeloser]

Is she really love me? or take me as a back up entertainment ? everytime she said she love me i felt very happy and warm, is that not real? Even other guy put their hand on her butt she also got not a single uncomfortable feel. This make me very upset. Just hope she can be with me.

[zzkenoman]

I read this thread and I can relate to everyones pain. However I was married for 13 yrs, and fell in love. For 6 months I did all the wrong things, and ended the relationship and marriage because I fell in love. Its been 9 years now, divorced and yes there isnt a day that goes by that I don't think about her in someway, or entertain the thought of what I could do to change the outcome or to communicate again. I admit now I was wrong to fall in love at the wrong time. The advice I can give you guys/girls is never go into a relationship if both of you are not remotely in love. You cannot make love grow like some suggest, both of you are either in love or not. Being in love and the other is not, will never work. We can never change that, regardless of our own needs or wants. its the hard facts of love. Many question why i was married in the first place? My girlfriend got preg and I had to do the "right thing" to provide for my son. Did I love my wife, yes for being the mother of my son. Was I ever "in love" with her, no. We were merely friends with papers (for marriage), that had alot of sex. So move on with your life, many of you are still very young, but eventually you will find someone who will be "in love" with you as you will be again soon.

[heartbrokeloser]

Today send her a short msg, is about if my parents accept her will she be together with me again? But i think she wouldnt and i asked her to let me know the date of her wedding also wish all the best for her(this is what i mention in the sms) but still until now she havnt reply me. Eventhough she treat me like this but i still need to go on to do my assignments and studies also i love her too much until i cant pull myself from this mess. Hope things go well to me, god bless everyone.