by grinforgrin on Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:41 pm
One bi girl I dated told me, after my to-be-expected-offer to be a third when she needed one, told me that she didn't think of women the same way she thought of men, and that a fmf threesome probably wasn't in her future.
Having a threesome usually happens in one of a few situations; One, Your relationship is about to die, and you both decide to go out with a bang and invite someone else in for a night, Two, your relationship is very mature and it's something you do to experience together, Three, it's a (possibly drunken) one-night stand happening in a possibly strange place with people you probably only just met (and/or you're all party animals who just like sleeping around), Four, someone in a relationship is bored and the other person agrees to bring in a third to spice things up, but it doesn't really help and in fact makes things worse, and Five, It's your birthday/christmas/other big event, and your partner decides to give you a suprise gift.
There's also the 'open relationship' where you're a couple, and there is a person(s) who everyone is happy with bringing into the relationship once in a while, but it's not a regular occurence. This is more likely to happen when the main partners are women, because they're usually more experienced in dealing with the jealousy/intimacy issues that often arise.
Then you've got your 'free love'/commune/'cult'/private farm situations where a bunch of people live in a social experiment and all kinds of things happen. All bets are off in this kind of place.
I'd say you're lucky to be dating this girl, as she's tasted the fruits of sleeping with a woman, and decided that she actually wants to date a man again after that. Don't screw this up by demanding anything too out of the ordinary, or constantly asking her to bring another girl into bed with you. She'll probably be aware that you (like 99.99% of us guys) would dig a fmf threesome, but mentioning (once will be enough) that you'd be open to a threesome if she found someone she thought was cute. I'd specify the gender of the possible third, you never know, she might want to bring home another guy. This may be okay with you, just make sure she knows if it isn't.
But remember, a relationship is really about the mind/heart, not just the body. If she has a habit of sleeping with women while she's dating a guy, she's not really giving her all to the main relationship. Gone are the days when bi women used their dual passions as an excuse to sleep with any woman who winked at them while their guy had to stand by or risk getting tossed out of the relationship. Eating IS cheating, (unless specifically agreed upon otherwise), and if you're in a relationship with a person, you need to respect them and yourself by not sleeping around, no matter what the other person's gender.
Now it's entirely possible my experience/background doesn't apply in the UK, so please correct me if there is a different status quo in your neck of the woods.
