spoilt

[Jannet]

I was with a man for 4 years and I have living with him for the past two well i have just found out after all this time that he has a child to another women but he never told me, why I dont know, I thought he was up to no good because he started to get phone calls then letter and when I asked him about them he said they were junk mail and wrong numbers. Well I opened one of the letter he received last week he has even had them coming to my address this was my house first, he moved in with me. I know I shouldnt but I just needed to know to he was in trouble and just didnt think he could come to me for help. How wrong was I she is now requesting maintenance off him and she wants it back dated, but why wouldnt he tell me. He has spoilt everything we had by not be honest with me he had know reason to lie to me because it was before we were together have I made a big mistake or would you have done the same

[stevie]

no you had every right, get shut and get him out, and make a new life for yourself.

[Harry]

Many will say the same as Stevie. Cut and run at the first problem you encounter in a relationship. Its the modern way. Can't live with a spoiled dream can we?

This man has not lied. He has witheld the truth. There is a huge difference. Finding out why he has shielded you from the facts of his life is what you need to do first.

He has been carrying a burden of not being able to see his child for four years or more. Now the mother has come back to grab whatever she can from him (and you) to boot.

Talk to him. Its a problem that all too many couples have to face together. Yes 'it' is spoiled. Life does spoil dreams. All the time. The difference is that life is real and dreams are not.