Clingy Kids, what do I do?

[DebbieClicks]

Hi,I have an eight year old little girl and she has always been a well adjusted little girl ,happy and relaxed.

Just recently she has become extremely clingy towards me ,doesnt want me to go out anywhere,will not stay at peoples houses ,even people whom she loves.

Ive asked her the reasons,whats up with her,she says she doesnt know .I dont know what to do about it and desperatly need some advice.

She did tell a friend of mine that if she cries and clings to me ,that i wont go out,so is she manipulating me .

Im desperate now as its becoming a chore to go out and i end up crying too.
Please help. Debs

[Ang]

Sounds strange how long has this gone on?

[clarkyl]

I have exactly the same with my 1 year old and she has been like it for about five months and seems to be getting worse. She has been walking since 9 months so has had the physical freedom. I am with her full time and dad workks from home and I think that might be a problem cause she has us around all the time. It is so full on and is driving me mad she tantrums arches her back and won't be picked up by anyone except us ahhhhhhhh

[CarrieDoway]

Sorry but its perfectly normal for babies to do this and you have another 2 or so years of it. Try getting out to a mother and toddler group, she will see kids there wandering away and might just follow suit or get so engrossed in something that she allows you to move a bit further away.....don't ever just sneak away, you'll pay for it for a long time! Another hint when shes a little older is to give her an egg timer to watch....tell her that when the sand runs out you'll be back, I know its only a few minutes but it gives her a concept of time and trust. Most kids have grown out of it by the time they start at nursery, my 4 did and considering i didnt have a piddle in peace for the first 2 years of my last ones life its pretty amazing!

[angry&upset]

Hi there--I have a complicated situation where i got together with a man who was raised to not be able to stand on his own 2 feet, his mother always needing to provide everything for him, hence not letting him go with blessings to be with me without disconnecting so to speak. I was very young at the time and we had a child together. to make a long story short, things didn't work out, he went back home so that she take over where she had left off, in the meantime telling me how terrible a mother i had, and how terrible a mother i was becoming. (i came from a more independent raising style with a sister who was close in age as opposed to this man having 12 years difference with his brother). Anyway, our child is now 21, questioning her upbringing, studying psychology at university, and since not being disciplined and having constant attention while with her dad, which was not very often, and not having constant attention from me--(i am remarried with a couple more kids which my ex said that i shouldn't have had since it took away love from our child)... i have been put down by this mans family TO HER her whole life, and i am the bad guy....

He has remarried, and at one instance when he was not able to "divide" his love between both parties, they decided to divorce while she was there, and then she was sent back to me---after that they got back together. he was not able to function with wife and daugther. they have not had anymore children, but the son from her previous marriage lived with them a while but was sent home to her family in fiji because of schizophrenia and not being able to cope with the money involved in treating him in america---

i would love a comment on this. I haven't said much about me in this, but i was regarded by this family as selfish because of not giving EVERYTHING to our child, and nothing to myself.

sorry this is so long----cheers independent and loving