A Bartender's Wedding Observations .............

[Lena]

I work in a big hotel and may bartend at 30 wedding receptions a year . In 4 years that makes about 120 some wedding receptions and have seen all kinds . Always ironic since until the last year I never believd in marriage seeing it as the first step to trouble & divorce court with the woman more likely then not getting hurt the worst .Sometiems I'd get mad /depressed working them but to get thru decided to throw myself into my work and also watch for funny things that do seem to happen at wedding receptions .Have come to see watching and laffing /learning / even getting sad as a major fringe benefit. Here some comments :

No surprise spending alot of money does make a difference . Flowers add a wondeful atmosphere. Having good food like appetizers before dinner with the main meal being something beyond chicken , and most of all a open bar are the best . Get away from any of those , especially having a cash bar and things get tacky ..............also I make more tips at a open bar a live band is best , dj's no matter how make you feel like your at a high school dance . ...............

The whole tone of a wedding reception is set by the bridal couple and the brides folks who usually are paying for everything . How they act sets a example that most follow . If there mature but nice you get a civilized, real classy wedding reception .Most will follow there example and any fool/drunk / immature person will stand out more but be isolated generally .I get the idea too that if the couple is that way they have a better chance of staying together . .......but if the bridal couple or her folks act goofy then you know more then a few will follow there lead and no matter how much money has been spent the reception wil go downhill fast ....................

Examples of the first one being all sorts of couples of every race and religion walking around being nice making all sorts of chit chatting trying to make everyone feel like a special guest .Really is great . Do feel thats the way a reception should . The latter , probably the wost was at some big lawyer's 20 year old daughter's wedding when she got drunk and was making out with several of the male guests and how her new hubby when pulling off her garter had a pair of her undies in his sleeve and acted like he'd puled them off then smelled them . No surprise , saw her at another wedding a year later and they were divorced ..........daddy having spent something like $25,000 for nothing !


Misc . facts : Generally the older couples are the nicest . At most army weddings sooner or later the groom will ditch the bride and be over with other soldiers talking ARMY and ARMY only ! Always romance in the air ! You use people come in as strangers and after dancing and talking leave together . Remember in the GODFATHER movie where the crazy violent son is having sex with a strange woman in a closet at his sister's wedding ? I bet I've seen things like that at almost every wedding I've worked ! You'd think thatd' be mostly with younger people and most times it is . But have also seen couples from there 30's to 50's having some fun in everywhere closets like in that movie to parked cars to conference rooms .

As far as drinking goes people usually drink less at black weddings but get looser . Asians hardly drink at all but tip good ! The level of drinking at white weddings is with a few exceptions always about the same . There maybe a few drunks at each wedding but overallthe amount of drinking is low . Guess it's a class thing that upper middle class and rich people don't want to get drunk in public or show they are drunks ! The major exception was at a wedding for some jews from Russia . No one drank all that much before the reception but when the band started playing the alcohol was flowing and flowing and flowing some more . One real drunk man was even throwing shot glasses on the floor after toasting about everyone there. He gave me $100 to cover the costs of the glasses and I kept $50 & eventually had security drag him out but all the people were to drunk or dancing away to notice.

I usually get between a $ 50-100 tip from the family. Come away with at least that amount extra if they let me put out a tip cup ( always draw smiley face on it saying thanx ! Love dresing up in the sexxy black cocktail waitress dress to do weddings and walking across the lobby to get looks and if I'm lucky flirtatous commets from men .

My own funniest wedding story ( that I can tell without being banned ) was a little over a year ago .A group of yankees in there 30's were being real nice to me and they sure drank and tipped well all nite . At 11pm when the reception ended I went back to work the bar and they all came in very drunk . Guess they were so loaded they mistook me for a non-existant twin sitster "Lana" telling " Lana " me how they likd my twin Lena so much at the wedding and how I "Lana " should be proud of her . I nodded and being street wise and a money grubbing bitch when there is opportunity told them "Lena " is great , really knocks herself out but ( ) has her problems Several got concerned and real politely asked what they were I told them how her man had run off leaving her with something like 4 kids with one in a iron lung . They got all misty eyed and left me " Lana " $10 and gave me to pass on about $70 for my wonderful but hard -pressed sister " Lena " .................They are my favorite customers of all time !!