My boyfriend and I are great when together, but when we're apart things are a total mess. He often doesn't call when he says he will (he says he'll call in "the afternoon," then I don't hear from him until midnight). Or we make plans and he screws them up by sleeping through it or calling to cancel at the last minute.
He's in business school, so I understand that he's really busy and things often come up unexpectedly. However, when I suggest that he should make me as high a priority as his business appointments, he tells me he's stressed out enough already, and that I'm being too demanding because he's trying as hard as he can to meet my needs.
Is he correct? I don't want him to call/see me all the time, just the times that he SAYS he's going to call/see me. If I don't expect to hear from him, I can just go about my life. But now that there have been so many screw-ups, I've started to get really nervous and neurotic around the time when he's supposed to call, terrified that he won't. It's turning me into a nutcase. If he's a few hours late, I start calling around and trying to track him down. It's embarrassing for both of us, but I can't help it--I start to worry that something's happened to him and I need to know why he's not turning up.
He says that he loves me, and he's agreed to start couple's counseling, so I know he's invested in the relationship. When things are going well, he's very kind, thoughtful, and affectionate. I also know for a fact that he's truly really busy- not screwing around with another girl or going to the bars or anything. He does spend a lot of time with me, but these screw ups happen about once every two weeks, sometimes more.
This behavior of his is crushing my self esteem, and all the more so because he refuses to recognize that there's a pattern and blames me for "freaking out" and "keeping him on a tight leash." Maybe the counseling will help. Right now I'm at my wits end and feel like I'm turning into a different person because of this. Please help!! Am I too demanding? Tell me who you think is right and where I should go from here.
